Remember the lots and lots of snow that Seth prayed for….

…’Cause you just might get it all!  Turns out that there is a little boy on our block that is a few months younger than Seth.  They seem to be at about the same developmental age and he’s been coming over and playing this week.  This newly forming friendship has brought to my attention the fact that Seth has not been taught much about being a friend.

It has always amazed me how Seth can jump around and make noises and verbalize the imaginary script that is constantly running through his brain, while absorbing every single bit of information around him.  He can literally regurgitate every word that you’ve said to him while he was in the process of acting out his imagination.

Unfortunately, the information that he is able to absorb does not include anything to do with human interactions.  He has no clue what is or isn’t appropriate when it comes to socializing and since he’s managed to live 9 1/2 years without a true friend, you could say that his friendship skills leave a little to be desired.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful for the fact that there is a boy who wants to be my son’s friend.  But I can honestly say that taking on the job of Dan Miragliotta (look him up) has never been on my list of life aspirations.  Looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me.

New prayer: Please God, don’t let Seth scare away the new kid.  Amen.

In Mark 10 Jesus teaches about having the faith of a child when we come to Him.  I always watch my kids in wonder of their faith and I strive each day to believe like they do.

Seth has always lived in absolute terror of the dentist.  Like many autistic children, he has issues with absorbing calcium and his teeth show the damage.  For the first 8 years of his life, every dentist appointment was a traumatic experience for everyone involved and by about 6, he would have an all out panic attack and vomit uncontrollably when anyone even mentioned the word ‘dentist’.  Last spring a few of his teeth broke in a short time-span.  I prayed about how to deal with preparing him for what was coming and I started going through the Bible and teaching him scriptures on fear and on God’s promises of providing us with strength and courage when we need it.  He vomited in the dentist office parking lot, but we prayed in the waiting room and he did great.  When the dentist was done, Seth ran all over the office and told everyone that God gave him the courage to be there that day.  I was humbled, convicted, inspired, and awed by my child.

That leads me to today.  While going through our morning routine, the radio dj said that we were expecting 1-3 inches of snow.  No big deal.  Seth heard it, went to his room, dropped to his knees and prayed, “God, I’m begging you. Please let it snow lots and lots so I won’t have to go to school tomorrow.  Please, God.  Pretty please.  Amen!”  Well…the county just canceled all after school activities.  We’re expecting 4-6 inches of snow tonight and a possible blizzard on Thursday and Friday.  They just said that we could have up to FIVE FEET of snow by Saturday morning.

God loves Seth.

I want his kind of faith.

Just a quick post to say that we are blessed and thankful.  For the past few days we’ve been telling God that we needed $830 to pay immigration.  We had a gold party scheduled for today and we weren’t sure how likely it was, but we’ve been claiming at least enough money to cover that fee.

Yesterday it snowed.  All day.  The gold buyer was flying in from Maine and her flight got canceled.  Chad kept asking what my back-up plan was and I kept responding with, “We don’t need one.”  I just had faith that she would get in this morning and that people would brave the icy roads and come out for the party.

Guess what?  They did.  A few people sent us their scrap gold over the past couple of weeks and said that we could use whatever we made from it for the adoption.  Between the donated gold and our own scrap gold, we made…dun, dun, dun….$820.00.  All of the people who came out made money too.  They made $2400 in total and our percentage was another $266.

In the book of Philippians, Paul preached….

“And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” – Phillipians 4:19

God did!  God has!  And I have absolutely no doubt that He always will.

I usually try to convince myself that I went through the whole mourning  process and came to terms with Seth’s limitations back when he was 4 or 5.  Those of you with special needs children understand that this is something we all do to get through the days, but sometimes reality just slaps you in the face.

Today I volunteered to help out with crafts for the 3rd grade China Day celebration.  They’ve been studying China for a couple of months and today they celebrated by eating Chinese food and making crafts.  I stayed with Seth as he rotated between 4 of the 5 third grade classrooms and watched as he struggled to participate.  The other kids asked him to be quiet and stop pretending  (He says he’s pretending when he’s stemming).   I watched boys and girls move to other tables when he chose a seat near them.  For three hours, I absorbed the reality that Seth is not normal….again.

Reality sometimes bites!

I thank God daily for allowing me to parent this amazing little boy and I thank Him daily that He has called us to adopt a daughter who is also a special gift.

That being said, it sucks watching my child be an outcast.  I volunteered at the school all the time when Kira and Chase were younger and even when Seth was spending most of his time in a self-contained classroom.  Since he has been in a mainstream class for the past 2 years, I find myself coming up with excuses to not be involved at the school.  Today I had to admit to myself that I don’t like being there because I don’t like witnessing just how out of place Seth is.  Academically, he’s doing fine and his social skills have improved 2000% from where they were a few years ago.  Heck, Chad and I consider it a miracle that he no longer sniffs and licks strangers.  He’s just not yet “friend worthy” and there is not a week that goes by that he doesn’t cry and tell  us, “I just want a friend.”

I know that tomorrow I will be fine.  I know that I will continue to find excuses to not volunteer for class parties and field trips.  But I also know that I will continue to be acutely aware of the fact that my son longs for friendship.  If you’re praying for us, pray for Seth to come across another child who values him and who will be kind to him.

“He who finds a friend, finds a treasure.” Jewish saying.

While doing homework tonight, Chase looks at me and asks, “Is autism genetic?”  Of course the first thing I thought was that he was worried about his future children.  I quickly responded with an emphatic “No”.  He then says to me, “That’s what I thought.  We have to do a project in our science class on genetic disorders and autism is on the list of topics.”  I assured him once again that it is not a genetic disorder and he tells me, “Yeah, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with Seth’s genes.”  Seth then stands up, points down at his pants with both hands and declares, “My jeans are perfect!”  And you know what?  I completely agree!

This is a hard post to write, but I need to get the clutter out of my brain and this just happens to be the place to do it.

Today I sent a message to the amazing woman in Serbia who is facilitating our adoption and asked her about the foster family that is currently caring for Ana-Sophia.  I wanted to see if they know about our family and I was curious if I would have any contact with them before we actually arrive in country.  I blogged a while back about the institutions in Serbia.  The Serbian government is doing their best to increase the number of foster homes in the country in order to reduce the number of children who are living in institutions.  For reasons that I can’t quite grasp, those foster families are not allowed to adopt the children that they love and care for.  The facilitator has told us that we will be the first family to adopt a child that has been placed in a foster home.  The whole scenario has given me very mixed emotions.

When we first committed to the adoption, we learned that Ana-Sophia’s birth mother was mentally disabled and was unable to care for her.  My feelings regarding this woman who gave her life have ranged from anger to walking through grace and eventually finding myself humbly grateful and somewhat saddened for her loss.

My feelings toward the foster family have been different.  While I have been immeasurably thankful for the fact that they are caring for her, I have also dealt with some pretty strong fears about the environment they are providing and about how they may be treating her now that they have the knowledge that she is being adopted.

Before I write about today, I have to say that I have ALWAYS said that I could not be a foster parent because I could not deal with the loss.  I just don’t think I’m capable of loving a child as my own with the knowledge in the back of my head that the child could be taken at any moment.

So today I asked about the foster family.  I wanted to know how they felt about the adoption and my prayer from the beginning of the process has been that we have contact with them.

From our facilitator:

“Yes, Sophia’s foster family knows that she is being adopted.And,no,no personal contacts with the foster family are allowed.Actually,the foster family won’t be happy because of Sophia’s adoption,but they are good people,and I’m SURE  they won’t make any trouble during your contacts  with this little girl.I talked to them earlier,and they don’t think Sophia should be adopted at all yet.  They love her dearly.”

So here I am, the person doing the taking.  This family is experiencing the same exact pain that I have always chosen to avoid.  I am so extremely thankful for the fact that they love my child.  But, at this very moment my heart is breaking for them.  The day we actually take Ana-Sophia from their home will be a hard one.

Just a quick note to let our readers know what’s going on in the fund-raising department.  The links on the side of the page are still active.  Anyone that would like to donate to the immediate adoption expenses can do so through the chip in link.  Anyone who would like to make a tax-deductible donation that will be used for the travel expenses and the in country adoption fees can do so through the Reese’s Rainbow link.

We also have a couple of other fundraisers going on that I thought you might be interested in.  If you shop the Current catalog, you can donate by shopping on their website.  You just click on the state of Virginia and bringing Ana home when you are checking out.  The most exciting fundraiser that we have coming up will be on January 31st.  We are having a Glitterbug Gold Party from noon-5 that day.  Here’s the deal: You bring your scrap gold (broken jewelry, lone earrings, etc).  You get paid market value for your gold and 10% gets donated towards bringing Ana home.  It’s a win-win!  Any questions, you can send me a comment and I’ll get back to you.

I’m off to bed so I can run again tomorrow.

Readers beware: Seth is required to write tongue-twisters with his spelling words.  I’m kind of stuck in that mode.

So, a couple of weeks ago I got inspired to start running.  I can honestly say that I have never truly enjoyed running, but I’ve always wanted to be a runner.  I tend to surround myself with runners who talk about how great they feel after a long run and bond over training for 10-milers and marathons.  This tendency has left me feeling a little inferior to my peers on more than one occasion.  Another blogging adoptive Mom started a movement to get all of us wannabe runners out there pounding the pavement.  We’re doing the couch potato to 5k program.  You can read all about it here: http://thebalsisfamily.blogspot.com/2010/01/operation-c25k-and-giveaway.html  We are planning to run a 5k on St. Patrick’s Day.  Guess what?  I ran a mile and a half today and….it felt great!  Maybe an old dog can learn new tricks after all.

Commit your work to the LORD, and then your plans will succeed.
Proverbs 16:3

Adding to the satisfaction of a pleasant run, I am going tonight to draw up a sales contract on a house for a nice young military couple and I have a few other clients looking for houses.  I have to say that I am getting more pleasure out of being a realtor than out of any other job I’ve ever done.  Doesn’t the saying go, “It’s not work if you enjoy what you’re doing.”?  Well, helping people find homes is definitely not work for me.  And…at this rate, we will soon have every single dime that we need to bring Ana-Sophia home in no time at all. 🙂

I forgot to blog about this last week and I want to put it down   before it slips my mind.  The elementary school has early release on Mondays which allows Seth to have a couple of hours of alone time with Mama.  On January 4th, it was exceptionally cold out and we needed a few things from the grocery store.  I decided to just go after I picked up Seth because I’m a big baby about the cold and I didn’t want to get out twice.  I stopped at 7-11 to grab a cup of coffee and a slurpee for Seth before we went to Safeway.  Seth kept his heavy coat on, overheated and vomited his entire slurpee back into the cup from which he had just drank it.  While I was looking for a place to toss the cup of puke, an OOOLD lady walked by us leaning on her cart and dragging her feet.  I paused to look at her and thought how sad it was that someone wasn’t helping her do her shopping.  Before I could complete my thought, Seth took off in her direction.  He looked back over his shoulder as he reached her and announced, “I’m gonna give her a hug.”  I yelled, “ASK FIRST!”  He leans toward her and asks, “Can I give you a hug?”  She replied, “Huh?”  Seth, (loudly)”I’m going to hug you.”  Old lady, “Happy New Year to you too!”  Seth then pats her on the back and says, “I hope you grow up to be a beautiful young lady.”

The End