….just because it’s fun to say.  And hey, who couldn’t use a good dose of fun in their life right now?

I read a devotion today that expanded on 2 Corinthians 11:14.  The devotion talked about how Satan uses Godly causes (and other stuff) to keep us so busy that we forget to focus on relationships with Him and those that He has placed in our lives.  The devotion was titled “The Lull of Everyday Sin”.

For the past week I’ve been very stressed out and have found myself bothered when the kids asked for help with homework or just wanted to tell me about their day.  I’ve been busy.  I’ve been caught up in the lull.

So tonight I sat in the bathtub while everyone else in the house was sleeping and I took inventory of all my “busyness” this week. While I was busy, I missed out on truly enjoying the fact that our dossier got to Serbia 3 days faster than expected.  I also missed out on enjoying the fact that we got our paperwork from USCIS (immigration) today and that once we run over to their office to be fingerprinted tomorrow, we will be done with the paper-trail that is leading us to our daughter.  I just looked across the table and realized that I missed out on sharing in Seth’s joy over doing well on a timed multiplication test.  I also missed out on Kira’s joy in making honor roll when she is taking all honors classes and her only 2 electives are Latin and orchestra.  I didn’t stop and take notice of the excitement that has been on Chase’s face all week as he anticipates having a little sister.  I also missed out on just how excited he is to be turning 13 on March the 9th.  I missed out on the emotions that Chad is dealing with as he transitions to a new job this week.  And most importantly….I missed out on God.  I can’t say that I’ve achieved one single ounce of spiritual growth this week.  Well…maybe not until tonight.

My goal for tomorrow….be a little less busy.

And maybe try to squeeze the word tutti-frutti into a conversation.

I’ve always liked that term.  Can’t say I’ve ever been good at it.  I tend to want to fill the silence.  Never-the-less, it’s fun to say.

This week’s celebration of marriage turned into a great adventure.  Thursday morning marked 21 years since the day I met the man of my dreams and 16 years since we promised to love each other for life.  The only anniversaries that we have been able to celebrate together were 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 14 and this year (17’s not looking so good).  Spending so many of them apart prompts us to go all out when we actually get to be together.  This desire completely conflicts with our plan to be debt free this year and to pay all the adoption expenses up front.  This is where the adventure came in.

I blogged a few months ago about our plans to sell our vehicles and use the equity to pay cash for replacements.  Well, we sold our 2004 Honda Odyssey more than a month ago and we have been looking, but have had no luck finding something that would seat 6 and was reliable for the $3000 that we made off the van.  Chad found out about government auction vehicles last year from the Duggar’s website and he has felt since then that we were supposed to buy a vehicle at one of these auctions.  There haven’t been any in our area for quite some time though.  Last Monday we found that one was scheduled in Fredericksburg (about half an hour south of us) on our anniversary.  That same day we checked on Chad’s Hilton Honors club points that he has been accumulating for years from all of his Army travel.  We used the points to book a room at the Capital Hilton in DC (I HIGHLY recommend it) and he still had enough to give us a $100 credit at the hotel spa.

So, we had reservations (completely paid for) at a 5-star hotel about 20 minutes north of us and the opportunity to buy a car at an auction half an hour south.  We made arrangements to get all the kids off to school and headed south at about 7:30am.  On the drive down, we thanked God for providing us with a free place to celebrate our anniversary and asked him to give us the vehicle that we needed.  By 10, we had a car.  We’re hooked!  We never never never ever want to buy a car again any other way.  It was such a blast!  We got our tax return that morning also and we had decided to take $1000 from it so that we would have a total of $4000 to purchase something reliable (we weren’t having an luck with ‘reliable’ in the $3000 range).  We put asterisks next to a few vehicles that we scoped out before-hand, but they all went for more than $4000.  A 2005 Kia Sedona EX pulled up.  It was immaculate and loaded and in about 45 seconds, we got it for $4100 and we were both standing there scratching our heads and wondering what had just happened.  We found a local DMV, called and added it to our insurance and got tags.  It’s not fancy (well actually, it kind of is), but it’s paid for.  We plan to pay ourselves a $400 a month car payment every month for the next 10 months and then trade up. Never in my life did I think I would be this excited about a Kia mini-van!

We returned from our get-away on Friday afternoon with just enough time to pack up the remainder of our dossier and get it to the FedEx shop before the last pick-up.

Out of our hands…..and into God’s.

We wait.

Psalm 25:4-5 Show me Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me: for You are the God of my salvation; on You do I wait all day.

This is our pregnant pause.

My parents divorced when I was 5 and between the ages of 7 and 14, I would get under my bed, lie face down, and pray for my husband.  I asked God to take care of him and to make him be the kind of man who did not believe in divorce.  I asked God to make him be the kind of man who would always be willing to drop everything and get down on the floor and play with his kids.  I asked God to make him funny and to give him dark hair and light eyes.  I asked God to make him smart and hard-working and to give him a job that paid good money (I didn’t want Him to leave anything out).  I also asked God to make him a Godly man who would love me till the day he died.

On February 18, 1989….we met…

in Washington DC.

That summer we graduated from high school….and got engaged (insert laughter.)

He went to college in Missouri.  I went to LSU.  By the end of our 1st semester, we had agreed to “take a break”.

Two years later we met for a long weekend of skiing in Colorado.

It would take 3 more years for him to come find me and beg me to marry him ;).

And on February 18, 1994…five years after we met…’we’ became ‘us’.

God answered all my prayers.

Adoption phone calls and paperwork……Check

Laundry…….Check

Ironing……..Check

Answer emails……Check

Write and mail birthday and thinking of you cards…….Check (and when the mail runs again they may actually get delivered)

Take care of real estate stuff……Check

Register Kira for coxswain clinic…..Check

Help Seth review multiplication facts and cursive writing…….Check

Shovel and salt all exits…….Check

Do taxes…….Check

Pay bills……..Check

Order bedding for the kids, undies for Mama and contacts……..Check

Update blog…..Check

Make a baby quilt for Alohi-lani……Check

Cabin fever has officially set in. This was either the 9th or 10th snow day for my kids.  I’ve lost count.  And…they’ve canceled school for the remainder of the week.  Chad has been off of work since last week and who knows when they’ll get his compound plowed.  I’ve also lost count of how many hours my kids and husband have spent playing video games.  I hate video games, but right now I can’t think of any great alternatives.  We’ve played board games.  We’ve huddled around the fire and had a family room sleep-over (we had no power and there wasn’t really any other option).

The snow can stop now.  I think we’ve had enough.

I need a picture of the outside of our house to send in with our dossier.  I guess this one will have to do.

While trying (rather unsuccessfully) to prepare for the coming blizzard, I got an email from our adoption facilitator.  I’d been sending her questions all week about Ana-Sophia’s measurements and trying to get a grip on how the adoption proceedings will go.  She answered all my questions in one big swoop and dropped a bomb.  The good kind!  She wants us to travel on March 10th.  Yep, you read that right.  March. The Tenth.  As in…four and half weeks from now.  Can you believe it?  I am waiting on our last few apostilled documents to be returned and we are still waiting on word from USCIS, but we are actually about to go get our daughter.  I immediately sat down and wrote a letter to USCIS requesting that they expedite our application.  Pray that it is received well!

Today I got another email laying out exactly how the adoption will take place.  I think I’ve written before about the fact that we are the first family to adopt a child out of the foster care system in Serbia.  If not, well, we’re the first family to adopt a child out of the foster care system in Serbia.  Being the first has left us with quite a few questions.  We’ve read lots of other adoption stories from Serbia, but all the children have come from the orphanage in Belgrade.  We were told that our daughter is not in  Belgrade, but until today we did not know her exact location.  Now I’m obsessed with this little small Serbian village with a population of 14,000 that is approximately 67km from Belgrade.  It is divided from the city by acres and acres of farmland.  I have scoured the images on Google Earth with wonder over which tiny house she is sleeping in tonight.  We will go to this village for a few days and attempt to establish a positive relationship with her in visits that will take place twice a day.  On or around the 4th day we will head back to Belgrade to complete the adoption.  When we leave there, she will be with us.  For good.  Throughout the adoption proceedings we will have our daughter.  Well, actually, we’ll have both of our daughters, and both of our sons, and our dear friend Charity.  Our family will be whole.  In four and half weeks.  OMG!!!

Remember the lots and lots of snow that Seth prayed for….

…’Cause you just might get it all!  Turns out that there is a little boy on our block that is a few months younger than Seth.  They seem to be at about the same developmental age and he’s been coming over and playing this week.  This newly forming friendship has brought to my attention the fact that Seth has not been taught much about being a friend.

It has always amazed me how Seth can jump around and make noises and verbalize the imaginary script that is constantly running through his brain, while absorbing every single bit of information around him.  He can literally regurgitate every word that you’ve said to him while he was in the process of acting out his imagination.

Unfortunately, the information that he is able to absorb does not include anything to do with human interactions.  He has no clue what is or isn’t appropriate when it comes to socializing and since he’s managed to live 9 1/2 years without a true friend, you could say that his friendship skills leave a little to be desired.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful for the fact that there is a boy who wants to be my son’s friend.  But I can honestly say that taking on the job of Dan Miragliotta (look him up) has never been on my list of life aspirations.  Looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me.

New prayer: Please God, don’t let Seth scare away the new kid.  Amen.

In Mark 10 Jesus teaches about having the faith of a child when we come to Him.  I always watch my kids in wonder of their faith and I strive each day to believe like they do.

Seth has always lived in absolute terror of the dentist.  Like many autistic children, he has issues with absorbing calcium and his teeth show the damage.  For the first 8 years of his life, every dentist appointment was a traumatic experience for everyone involved and by about 6, he would have an all out panic attack and vomit uncontrollably when anyone even mentioned the word ‘dentist’.  Last spring a few of his teeth broke in a short time-span.  I prayed about how to deal with preparing him for what was coming and I started going through the Bible and teaching him scriptures on fear and on God’s promises of providing us with strength and courage when we need it.  He vomited in the dentist office parking lot, but we prayed in the waiting room and he did great.  When the dentist was done, Seth ran all over the office and told everyone that God gave him the courage to be there that day.  I was humbled, convicted, inspired, and awed by my child.

That leads me to today.  While going through our morning routine, the radio dj said that we were expecting 1-3 inches of snow.  No big deal.  Seth heard it, went to his room, dropped to his knees and prayed, “God, I’m begging you. Please let it snow lots and lots so I won’t have to go to school tomorrow.  Please, God.  Pretty please.  Amen!”  Well…the county just canceled all after school activities.  We’re expecting 4-6 inches of snow tonight and a possible blizzard on Thursday and Friday.  They just said that we could have up to FIVE FEET of snow by Saturday morning.

God loves Seth.

I want his kind of faith.

Just a quick post to say that we are blessed and thankful.  For the past few days we’ve been telling God that we needed $830 to pay immigration.  We had a gold party scheduled for today and we weren’t sure how likely it was, but we’ve been claiming at least enough money to cover that fee.

Yesterday it snowed.  All day.  The gold buyer was flying in from Maine and her flight got canceled.  Chad kept asking what my back-up plan was and I kept responding with, “We don’t need one.”  I just had faith that she would get in this morning and that people would brave the icy roads and come out for the party.

Guess what?  They did.  A few people sent us their scrap gold over the past couple of weeks and said that we could use whatever we made from it for the adoption.  Between the donated gold and our own scrap gold, we made…dun, dun, dun….$820.00.  All of the people who came out made money too.  They made $2400 in total and our percentage was another $266.

In the book of Philippians, Paul preached….

“And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” – Phillipians 4:19

God did!  God has!  And I have absolutely no doubt that He always will.

I usually try to convince myself that I went through the whole mourning  process and came to terms with Seth’s limitations back when he was 4 or 5.  Those of you with special needs children understand that this is something we all do to get through the days, but sometimes reality just slaps you in the face.

Today I volunteered to help out with crafts for the 3rd grade China Day celebration.  They’ve been studying China for a couple of months and today they celebrated by eating Chinese food and making crafts.  I stayed with Seth as he rotated between 4 of the 5 third grade classrooms and watched as he struggled to participate.  The other kids asked him to be quiet and stop pretending  (He says he’s pretending when he’s stemming).   I watched boys and girls move to other tables when he chose a seat near them.  For three hours, I absorbed the reality that Seth is not normal….again.

Reality sometimes bites!

I thank God daily for allowing me to parent this amazing little boy and I thank Him daily that He has called us to adopt a daughter who is also a special gift.

That being said, it sucks watching my child be an outcast.  I volunteered at the school all the time when Kira and Chase were younger and even when Seth was spending most of his time in a self-contained classroom.  Since he has been in a mainstream class for the past 2 years, I find myself coming up with excuses to not be involved at the school.  Today I had to admit to myself that I don’t like being there because I don’t like witnessing just how out of place Seth is.  Academically, he’s doing fine and his social skills have improved 2000% from where they were a few years ago.  Heck, Chad and I consider it a miracle that he no longer sniffs and licks strangers.  He’s just not yet “friend worthy” and there is not a week that goes by that he doesn’t cry and tell  us, “I just want a friend.”

I know that tomorrow I will be fine.  I know that I will continue to find excuses to not volunteer for class parties and field trips.  But I also know that I will continue to be acutely aware of the fact that my son longs for friendship.  If you’re praying for us, pray for Seth to come across another child who values him and who will be kind to him.

“He who finds a friend, finds a treasure.” Jewish saying.