If USCIS (immigration) actually comes through with the holy grail of documents that they’ve promised, we will be on our way to get our daughter in exactly 2 weeks.  Two weeks.  Fourteen days.  Three hundred and thirty-six hours.  Kinda crazy!

Today I put away little girl clothes and organized all the things in the house that will belong to Ana-Sophia.  It felt real.  Folding little leggings and pajamas and hanging little dresses.  Placing night-time story books on her dresser.  Putting Barbie dolls and play-doh into colorful bins.  Every activity made her feel real.

And then I began to think of what I would pack for her to wear and play with while we are in Serbia.  I got a knot in my stomach.  For months we have been promised updated photos and information on her.  Chad has said repeatedly that he needs a “proof of life”.  The only photos we have are more than 2 years old.  The last evaluation we have on her is more than a year old.  We have absolutely no clue what size she is.  Should I pack the 4’s, the 5’s, the 6’s?  Should I even bother to take shoes for her?

For a period of time, I was in daily communication with our facilitator in Serbia.  I just assumed that as the time for us to travel drew near, that daily communication would continue and that information would be forthcoming.  I was mistaken.  In the past 3 weeks, I’ve received 3 brief emails and none of my questions have been answered.

On my end, I have miserably failed at learning Serbian and I’m trying really hard not to think about how I’m going to communicate with my child.  And…I have yet to buy one single gift out of the 26 we’ve been asked to bring for everyone involved in the adoption process.

That being said….Is it really too much for us to want a proof of life?