white as snow

Kaci washed a load of whites, load of whites, load of whites….

I need to preface this post with my recent state of being.

Chad is in Arizona for the week and I’ve been fighting a sinus infection/bronchitis for the past 2 weeks.  My discomfort level has approached that of childbirth.  Feeling icky and simultaneously single-parenting stinks!  For all of my friends and family who are single Moms (or Dads)….Kudos!  You deserve a medal.

Between my current state of being and Chad’s absence, this week has been tough.  We are planning to go away next week for spring break and return on Easter Sunday.  We then plan to leave for Serbia the following Saturday.  That gave me this week and the 5 days between our trips to finish preparing for Ana-Sophia, to wrap up loose ends with work, to prepare for traveling out of the country, find an apartment in Belgrade, buy gifts for the 20+ people involved in the adoption process and, oh yeah, to actually pack.  I started the week with a to-do list that was a mile long and I’m fairly certain that it’s doubled.

In the midst of trying to scratch things off said list, I have squeezed in loads of laundry at every moment possible.  On Thursday morning I got Kira to the bus-stop at 6:20 and saw Chase off at 7:35.  I did a load of colors in between.  Just before running Seth to school at 8:45, I threw in the last load of darks and piled all of the whites in the house in front of the washer.  Considering the fact that I couldn’t breathe and I was functioning on about 3 hours of sleep, I felt pretty accomplished to have only 1 load of  laundry left to do.  While sipping my 2nd cup of coffee and enjoying the quiet in the house, I heard a CRASH in the laundry room.  The dogs cried and hid behind me and I thought for a second that someone had entered the house while I was driving Seth to school. I entered the laundry room and suddenly I could breathe.  An entire gallon of bleach had fallen off the top of the washer and busted all over my load of whites.  How amazing is that?!  They might just be the whitest whites I’ve ever washed.  I kept thinking that it was my lucky day.

I painted the girls’ room (purple) and my dear Charity helped me get all of their furniture set up and the beds made.  All the while, I kept thinking about that load of whites.  I could breathe while in the presence of the bleach.  The clothes were as white as freshly fallen snow.

This morning I awoke with that load of whites still lingering in my thoughts and scriptures learned long ago playing over and over again in the background.

David’s prayer.  Psalm 51:6-7, 10

“Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom. Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow … Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

Isaiah 1:18

“Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD.  Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”

The simplest truths.  The greatest truths.  God’s grace is so much more powerful than a gallon of bleach.  I want David’s prayer to be my daily prayer.  I’ve screwed up monumentally in my life and daily I am humbled by the fact that God’s grace is bigger than my screw-ups.  Yesterday may have been a lucky day, but the day I accepted that grace was, by far, my luckiest day.

“…Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

steadfast, stedfast [ˈstɛdfəst -ˌfɑːst]adj

1. (esp of a person’s gaze) fixed in intensity or direction; steady

2. unwavering or determined in purpose, loyalty, etc.

Yep.  I want David’s prayer to be my daily prayer.

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