These past two weeks have been loaded with distractions, but one has consumed my time and attention.

Although the house we moved to in November is exactly 1.5 miles from the elementary school Seth has attended for the past 2 years, it is in a different district.  Our new neighborhood school happens to be one of the best in the state and we have been excited about the opportunities it will provide for both Seth and Ana-Sophia NEXT SCHOOL YEAR.  Seth had a very difficult time with the move.  He cried that entire week both at school and at home.  He had inappropriate emotions for every situation and because of how upset he was, I made several visits to the school.  I explained to both his regular and special education teachers that he was having a difficult time with the move and because of how hard change is on him, we planned to keep him there for the remainder of the school year.  They both gave their support.

Fast forward to January.  Federal forms come home and we fill them out, stating that Seth is a military dependent.  The school gets money.

Fast forward to March 1st.  I get a phone call from an attendance officer with Fairfax County asking me where we live.  I told him.  He asked why we had not moved Seth and I explained that he is autistic and he has a difficult time dealing with change.   I also explained that we would be happy to move him next school year when we have had the entire summer to prepare him and that I had discussed this with his teachers.  He thanked me and scheduled a meeting with me and the principal two days later.

March 3rd.  I show up at the school and sit with the attendance officer while we wait for the principal who is more than 20 minutes late for the meeting.  I remind her that I had to spend time at the school the week of our move because of how badly Seth was dealing with the change.  She gives me some spiel about how beneficial it would be for Seth to go to school with the neighborhood children where he can build lasting friendships.  Hello?  He has yet to develop a lasting friendship.  Most of the neighborhood kids are freaked out by all of his stimming.

I then ask her why it is so important to her that he transfer at this point in the school year.  Get this.  Her reply to both myself and the attendance officer was….”I have to answer to my PTA.  We are over-crowded and I have to answer to them concerning pupil placement.”  What?!?!  I have served as vice-president of the PTA.  I have served on a district PTA council.  I have read the national PTA charter.  Principals don’t answer to the PTA! While I’m sitting there trying not to let the tears of anger and frustration spill from my lower lids, she gets up and says, “I’ll let you know what my decision is.”  I’m still standing there trying to grasp how the opinions of the PTA are more important than an autistic student as she walks away.

The attendance officer voluntarily tells me how to appeal her decision if she decides that Seth must immediately transfer.

I spend a week reading every bit of information I can on the VA dept. of education website and the Fairfax County website and taking notes on how many statutes this woman has violated.  I learn from my amazing Army acquisition officer husband that the fact that the school had the knowledge that we moved, but waited until after the federal funding was allotted to boot Seth is seen by the federal government and the Dept. of Defense as fraud.

Fast forward to March 10th.  We have waited a week with no word and we now assume that she has just let the issue go.  This is fine with us.  School will be over in 3 months and we can move on.  It’s dinner-time and Chad is digging through Seth’s back-pack as he helps him with his homework.  He finds an envelope with a letter.  It says,

…”I am writing to advise you to register your son at Waynewood Elementary School, your neighborhood school, at your earliest convenience. Your son’s last day at Stratford Landing Elementary School will be Wednesday, March 17, 2010.”…

Six days!  She gave us six frickin’ days to prepare him.  We’ve all heard of human mothers becoming mama bears in defense of their children.  I think I would better be described as a fire-breathing dragon.  I have had flames shooting out of my nose, ears, and eyeballs.  It took a couple of days for me to gather my thoughts and calm down enough to be productive, but the woman now has a war on her hands.  I have filed complaints with everyone from the local special education director up to the state board of education.  I have explored contacting the local media and I have contacted both military and autism support groups.  I wrote a “glowing” review on greatschools.net.

We have decided to only request that Seth stay at the school for the remainder of the grading period.  It ends April 9th and that gives us 4 weeks to prepare him.  We have walked down to the new school and driven by  it several times and we’ve begun talking about it.  He has cried at almost every mention of transferring, but today he did say something about his “new school” without shedding tears.

If you’re on the Stratford Landing PTA and you’re reading this, well, you have more power than you probably realize.  You might want to start using it wisely.

If you’re someone who just loves or even mildly cares for our family. Pray for us.  Pray for me to have some self-control and for some of this fire-breathing anger to be replaced with some peace.  Pray for Seth.  We have seen him regress since the move.  His stimming has increased and the time that he spends interacting with us, or anyone for that matter, has decreased.  I get a little claustrophobic feeling when I think of what changing schools and adding a new sibling to our family, all in the same month, are going to do to him.

If you’re reading this and you home-school your children, send me some feedback.  I’m seriously considering home-schooling for the remainder of the year and the thought scares the crap out of me.

As a side-note…..I seriously dislike “springing forward”.  We just got robbed of an entire hour.

What!  Ever!  We know that our dossier was interpreted and submitted to the ministry on Tuesday.  We know that several weeks ago the foster family was asked to provide us with updated pictures and measurements.  That’s pretty much all we know.  There has been absolutely no word this week and since it is now 11pm there, we can be fairly certain that we will not hear anything until after the weekend.  Ugggghhhh!

Psalm 27:14 Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage.  Yes, wait for the Lord.

Maybe if I recite this 1000 times I’ll get better at the waiting part.

God, please give me patience.  Amen!

My son Chase will become a teenager next Tuesday.  Why is it so much harder to accept that my boy children are growing up?  Kira is just my clone and evidently I’m a bit of a narcissus because I truly enjoy the company of the young woman she has become.  With my sons, it’s different.  I want them to remain little boys.  I kinda liked it when Chase was smaller and I was the most important female in his life.  When a pretty girl walks by these days, she gets all of his attention.  Sigh…

Chase had just turned 6 when Finding Nemo was released.  With the movie came a brand new sea creature vocabulary.  He was very into pretend battles and sword fights at the time and if you asked him who he was slaying, his reply would be, “my anemones”.  How cute is that?  Of course I asked all the time just to hear him say it ;).

I believe that I mistakenly said in an earlier blog post that  I don’t have any enemies.  My dear friend Lindsey reminded me very quickly that I always have an enemy in the devil.  This week has been a grim reminder of that presence.  And let me tell you….he’s been working overtime and he’s got some people on his side.  The incident with Kira’s friend was just the beginning of my reminder that darkness is out there waiting for a chance to overcome the light.  We’ve been beat up this week, to say the least, and all of it was completely unexpected and beyond our control.  So…I’ve spent the past couple of days crying out to God and seeking truth about dealing with the “anemones”.

Psalm 13:2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

John 10:10 The enemy comes only to steal, kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Makes it pretty clear who’s for us and who isn’t .

Exodus 15:9“The enemy boasted, ‘I will pursue, I will overtake them. I will divide the spoils; I will gorge myself on them. I will draw my sword and my hand will destroy them.’

Scary!

Numbers 10:9When you go into battle in your own land against an enemy who is oppressing you, sound a blast on the trumpets. Then you will be remembered by the LORD your God and rescued from your enemies.

This one got my attention because it covers the enemies who attack you at home.  If all it takes is a trumpet blast to get God’s attention and be rescued…..well, I’m glad God made me a loud-mouth and that Chase plays the trumpet.
This train of thought led me to thinking about vigilance.  The synonyms of vigilance are watchfulness, concern, attention, alertness, heedfulness, and care.  Here’s the deal… I want to be vigilant about the bad stuff BEFORE it’s in my house.  I don’t want anyone in my family swinging swords around the living room.  I think I’d prefer to slay those anemones on the ocean floor….where they live.  One might ask, “How do you do that, Kaci?”.  Heck, I’ve been wondering the same thing all week.  Without preaching a sermon, here’s what I’ve found.

Romans 12:21  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Guess that means I need to stop fantasizing about stink-bombing the local USCIS office and teaching Seth a few skills to push his principal’s buttons.  Bummer!

Proverbs 4:23-26 Carefully guard your thoughts because they are the source of true life.  Never tell lies or be deceitful in what you say.  Keep looking straight ahead, without turning aside.  Know where you are headed, and you will stay on solid ground.

Ahhhh…..this is the kind of truth I was searching for.

Matthew 10:16  I am sending you like lambs into a pack of wolves. So be as wise as snakes and as innocent as doves.

Index card on the kids’ bathroom mirror!

Through my battle with cancer, through Chad’s deployments to Iraq, through losing my Mom and through all of the struggles I’ve faced as a parent, I have always clung to James 1:2-4

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

This has been a week of tests, struggles, and attacks, but I can fall asleep tonight knowing that a work is being done.  And maybe…just maybe…with a little vigilance, the members of my family can start slaying some of those anemones before they step foot on our land.

Now if I can just figure out what to do about all those 13 year old girls…

That’s the sound of my brain exploding if I don’t hurry up and get rid of all the clutter.  What a day!  What a week!

This weekend I got proof that my 15 year old daughter is the the most amazing teenager on the planet.  She was courageous enough to tell me something that saved another child’s life.  It’s been a tough experience for both of us and a harsh reminder of just how dark this world can be.  I tell her all the time that I would not trade her for any other 15 year old girl on the planet.  I hope she knows I mean it.

As February came to an end, we had the comfort of knowing that our dossier is in Serbia and everything on our adoption checklist is done.  We had high hopes that we would be leaving some time next week and that we would have our daughter home by Easter and her 5th birthday.  I woke up yesterday and welcomed March with  the hope that this month would make our family whole.  Today those hopes got squashed like a bug.  Our facilitator sent me a message stating that Ana-Sophia’s guardian is on “official leave” for the next 3 weeks.  She must be there for the adoption to take place.  I’m still trying to process everything, but I do have peace that we will go get her in God’s timing.  In Ecclesiastes 3 we are told that there is a time for everything and that the things that God does will last forever.  I know that throughout life, when I have attempted to make things happen in my own timing (even if it was God’s purpose), there has always been a struggle.  I know without a doubt that this is His purpose.  Now I just have to accept that it will happen in His timing.

In the very same email, a huge prayer was answered.  I blogged a while back about my disappointment in not being able to communicate with the foster family.  Today, our facilitator talked to the foster family.  They were emotional and they are having a difficult time dealing with Ana-Sophia leaving so soon.  She asked me to please write them a letter.  This has been my heart’s desire.  I have prayed for the opportunity to tell the foster mother just how much I appreciate the care and love that she is giving to my child.

I blogged before writing the letter because I’m hoping that someone will read this and pray for my letter to contain the words that she needs to hear.

I wish!  I think everyone in the DC area has had enough winter for a lifetime.  I’m sitting in my room right now listening to the 30 mile an hour sustained winds and wondering what new object has just hit the house with every 50 mile an hour gust.

The temperature actually referring to is our funding for the adoption.  I never could figure out how to get one of those thermometer thingies on my page that tells what our goal is and how we’re doing, so I’m just going to try and break it down in this post.

We are hoping to leave for Serbia within the next 2 weeks.  (No, I still can’t speak the language and I’m really praying that my daughter is a faster learner than her Mama.)  The Reese’s Rainbow grant says that we have $0 in our grant, but there is actually $750 in it.  We also have a little over $4000 in our savings that is dedicated to the adoption and if the settlement that I have scheduled for next week comes to pass, we will have about $3000 more.  That’s a grand total of $7750.

Here are the expenses we still have ahead of us:

Facilitation fee (to be paid asap)                                                              $5487.00

In-country fees (visa, passport, etc)                                                      $750.00

Travel (we’re flying for free to Germany and taking the train)     $1700.00

Lodging in country                                                                                          $1800.00

Orphanage donation                                                                                       $500.00

Total                    $10,237.00

So…we currently have $7750 out of the $10,237 of remaining expenses.

That’s 75%!!!  That’s huge!!!  Up until this point, God has given us every single dime that we’ve needed (about $6000 so far).  I remember when we first started the process wondering how we could possibly come up with the money we needed AND keep working towards financial peace.  I’m still not sure how, but it’s worked.  Not only have the adoption cost been provided, but since October, we have eliminated more than $15,000 of debt.  To quote PD, “Go God!”

So there’s my thermometer.  I guess you could say it’s about 75 degrees in here right now.

My attitude towards donations has changed over the past 6 months.  I’ve watched people who have been touched in some way by adoption be blessed or work towards healing by giving.  God had to do some work on my pride, but I now welcome donations from anyone who feels called to give.  We only need about $2500.00 more to pay for all of the adoption expenses.  In the big pie, that’s just a sliver.

If you do want to give and you would like to write it off on your taxes, you can give through our Reece’s Rainbow grant.  The link is the pretty picture of Ana-Sophia on the right surrounded by blue and purple butterflies.  They are a non-profit dedicated to helping special needs orphans find their families.  They will release our funds next week, so if you’d like to donate through them, you need to hurry.

The thermometer outside may be stuck on miserably cold, but the one measuring just how close we are to getting our daughter, is definitely on the rise.

….just because it’s fun to say.  And hey, who couldn’t use a good dose of fun in their life right now?

I read a devotion today that expanded on 2 Corinthians 11:14.  The devotion talked about how Satan uses Godly causes (and other stuff) to keep us so busy that we forget to focus on relationships with Him and those that He has placed in our lives.  The devotion was titled “The Lull of Everyday Sin”.

For the past week I’ve been very stressed out and have found myself bothered when the kids asked for help with homework or just wanted to tell me about their day.  I’ve been busy.  I’ve been caught up in the lull.

So tonight I sat in the bathtub while everyone else in the house was sleeping and I took inventory of all my “busyness” this week. While I was busy, I missed out on truly enjoying the fact that our dossier got to Serbia 3 days faster than expected.  I also missed out on enjoying the fact that we got our paperwork from USCIS (immigration) today and that once we run over to their office to be fingerprinted tomorrow, we will be done with the paper-trail that is leading us to our daughter.  I just looked across the table and realized that I missed out on sharing in Seth’s joy over doing well on a timed multiplication test.  I also missed out on Kira’s joy in making honor roll when she is taking all honors classes and her only 2 electives are Latin and orchestra.  I didn’t stop and take notice of the excitement that has been on Chase’s face all week as he anticipates having a little sister.  I also missed out on just how excited he is to be turning 13 on March the 9th.  I missed out on the emotions that Chad is dealing with as he transitions to a new job this week.  And most importantly….I missed out on God.  I can’t say that I’ve achieved one single ounce of spiritual growth this week.  Well…maybe not until tonight.

My goal for tomorrow….be a little less busy.

And maybe try to squeeze the word tutti-frutti into a conversation.

I’ve always liked that term.  Can’t say I’ve ever been good at it.  I tend to want to fill the silence.  Never-the-less, it’s fun to say.

This week’s celebration of marriage turned into a great adventure.  Thursday morning marked 21 years since the day I met the man of my dreams and 16 years since we promised to love each other for life.  The only anniversaries that we have been able to celebrate together were 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 14 and this year (17’s not looking so good).  Spending so many of them apart prompts us to go all out when we actually get to be together.  This desire completely conflicts with our plan to be debt free this year and to pay all the adoption expenses up front.  This is where the adventure came in.

I blogged a few months ago about our plans to sell our vehicles and use the equity to pay cash for replacements.  Well, we sold our 2004 Honda Odyssey more than a month ago and we have been looking, but have had no luck finding something that would seat 6 and was reliable for the $3000 that we made off the van.  Chad found out about government auction vehicles last year from the Duggar’s website and he has felt since then that we were supposed to buy a vehicle at one of these auctions.  There haven’t been any in our area for quite some time though.  Last Monday we found that one was scheduled in Fredericksburg (about half an hour south of us) on our anniversary.  That same day we checked on Chad’s Hilton Honors club points that he has been accumulating for years from all of his Army travel.  We used the points to book a room at the Capital Hilton in DC (I HIGHLY recommend it) and he still had enough to give us a $100 credit at the hotel spa.

So, we had reservations (completely paid for) at a 5-star hotel about 20 minutes north of us and the opportunity to buy a car at an auction half an hour south.  We made arrangements to get all the kids off to school and headed south at about 7:30am.  On the drive down, we thanked God for providing us with a free place to celebrate our anniversary and asked him to give us the vehicle that we needed.  By 10, we had a car.  We’re hooked!  We never never never ever want to buy a car again any other way.  It was such a blast!  We got our tax return that morning also and we had decided to take $1000 from it so that we would have a total of $4000 to purchase something reliable (we weren’t having an luck with ‘reliable’ in the $3000 range).  We put asterisks next to a few vehicles that we scoped out before-hand, but they all went for more than $4000.  A 2005 Kia Sedona EX pulled up.  It was immaculate and loaded and in about 45 seconds, we got it for $4100 and we were both standing there scratching our heads and wondering what had just happened.  We found a local DMV, called and added it to our insurance and got tags.  It’s not fancy (well actually, it kind of is), but it’s paid for.  We plan to pay ourselves a $400 a month car payment every month for the next 10 months and then trade up. Never in my life did I think I would be this excited about a Kia mini-van!

We returned from our get-away on Friday afternoon with just enough time to pack up the remainder of our dossier and get it to the FedEx shop before the last pick-up.

Out of our hands…..and into God’s.

We wait.

Psalm 25:4-5 Show me Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me: for You are the God of my salvation; on You do I wait all day.

This is our pregnant pause.

My parents divorced when I was 5 and between the ages of 7 and 14, I would get under my bed, lie face down, and pray for my husband.  I asked God to take care of him and to make him be the kind of man who did not believe in divorce.  I asked God to make him be the kind of man who would always be willing to drop everything and get down on the floor and play with his kids.  I asked God to make him funny and to give him dark hair and light eyes.  I asked God to make him smart and hard-working and to give him a job that paid good money (I didn’t want Him to leave anything out).  I also asked God to make him a Godly man who would love me till the day he died.

On February 18, 1989….we met…

in Washington DC.

That summer we graduated from high school….and got engaged (insert laughter.)

He went to college in Missouri.  I went to LSU.  By the end of our 1st semester, we had agreed to “take a break”.

Two years later we met for a long weekend of skiing in Colorado.

It would take 3 more years for him to come find me and beg me to marry him ;).

And on February 18, 1994…five years after we met…’we’ became ‘us’.

God answered all my prayers.

Adoption phone calls and paperwork……Check

Laundry…….Check

Ironing……..Check

Answer emails……Check

Write and mail birthday and thinking of you cards…….Check (and when the mail runs again they may actually get delivered)

Take care of real estate stuff……Check

Register Kira for coxswain clinic…..Check

Help Seth review multiplication facts and cursive writing…….Check

Shovel and salt all exits…….Check

Do taxes…….Check

Pay bills……..Check

Order bedding for the kids, undies for Mama and contacts……..Check

Update blog…..Check

Make a baby quilt for Alohi-lani……Check

Cabin fever has officially set in. This was either the 9th or 10th snow day for my kids.  I’ve lost count.  And…they’ve canceled school for the remainder of the week.  Chad has been off of work since last week and who knows when they’ll get his compound plowed.  I’ve also lost count of how many hours my kids and husband have spent playing video games.  I hate video games, but right now I can’t think of any great alternatives.  We’ve played board games.  We’ve huddled around the fire and had a family room sleep-over (we had no power and there wasn’t really any other option).

The snow can stop now.  I think we’ve had enough.

I need a picture of the outside of our house to send in with our dossier.  I guess this one will have to do.

While trying (rather unsuccessfully) to prepare for the coming blizzard, I got an email from our adoption facilitator.  I’d been sending her questions all week about Ana-Sophia’s measurements and trying to get a grip on how the adoption proceedings will go.  She answered all my questions in one big swoop and dropped a bomb.  The good kind!  She wants us to travel on March 10th.  Yep, you read that right.  March. The Tenth.  As in…four and half weeks from now.  Can you believe it?  I am waiting on our last few apostilled documents to be returned and we are still waiting on word from USCIS, but we are actually about to go get our daughter.  I immediately sat down and wrote a letter to USCIS requesting that they expedite our application.  Pray that it is received well!

Today I got another email laying out exactly how the adoption will take place.  I think I’ve written before about the fact that we are the first family to adopt a child out of the foster care system in Serbia.  If not, well, we’re the first family to adopt a child out of the foster care system in Serbia.  Being the first has left us with quite a few questions.  We’ve read lots of other adoption stories from Serbia, but all the children have come from the orphanage in Belgrade.  We were told that our daughter is not in  Belgrade, but until today we did not know her exact location.  Now I’m obsessed with this little small Serbian village with a population of 14,000 that is approximately 67km from Belgrade.  It is divided from the city by acres and acres of farmland.  I have scoured the images on Google Earth with wonder over which tiny house she is sleeping in tonight.  We will go to this village for a few days and attempt to establish a positive relationship with her in visits that will take place twice a day.  On or around the 4th day we will head back to Belgrade to complete the adoption.  When we leave there, she will be with us.  For good.  Throughout the adoption proceedings we will have our daughter.  Well, actually, we’ll have both of our daughters, and both of our sons, and our dear friend Charity.  Our family will be whole.  In four and half weeks.  OMG!!!