my biggest fear….

Tonight, as I folded the laundry, I got choked up when i realized that I only have twelve more days before Seth turns twelve.  Hasn’t somebody invented a time machine already?  I look at the shadow over his upper lip and feel like I have an elephant on my chest. So. Hard. To. Breathe.  What happened to my baby boy?  I really wish he could stay little just a little longer.  We were cheated out of so much of his little-boy time in the years when he didn’t speak or make any eye contact.  Is it really too much to ask for me to want puberty and adulthood to hold off for as many years as we missed out on being a part of his world?!

So tonight, just a few hours after I lost my breath while folding laundry, my friend Bethany posted the following link as her facebook status…If you have a child with special needs or if you know a child with special needs or even if you just live in this world and share air with all the special people on this planet…. CLICK HERE.

Losing any of my babies is/was/will always be my biggest fear. It’s nice to know that someone responsible for protecting the rest of us, deals with it too.

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