My husband’s precious Italian Grandma passed away in January of 2007. She had the biggest personality of any person I’ve ever met and she had boobs to match that personality. Seriously. I once went with her to the shop where she had her J CUP bras made. Biggest boobs ever! In the space around those big boobs she filled her bra like a purse. If you needed a tissue, she’d reach down her shirt and whip one out. She’d often reach in and pull out money to pay for her purchases. One time we went to eat at a buffet and when we got back to her house she reached in and pulled out a chocolate chip cookie. Following in her Great-Grandma’s footsteps, our precious baby girl got into the baking drawer yesterday and, instead of eating all of the chocolate chips, she filled her bra and saved them for a late night snack. She was NOT happy when she found them melted. I was torn between laughing and thinking that the situation was kind of sad. While waiting to enjoy her treasure, she missed out on it altogether.

Our family motto used to be “Aut Tace Aut Face”. The phrase is Latin for “Act or be silent”. It’s a noble motto and I still fully appreciate the efforts of anyone around me to either step up or shut up. Just don’t sit around and complain about something unless you’re planning to do something about it.

In our current season of life, we are taking action in every area that we have the ability to take action. It is in this limited action season that a valuable lesson has been learned. There are things in life that we walk through that simply require waiting. This season has given us a new Latin phrase to live by…”Preastolatio Prestolatio”. Translation: “The waiting for, expectation”.  This season of life is not just about waiting. It’s about expecting.

I know that everyone who reads this blog is waiting with us; expecting with us. Three weeks ago we submitted the rebuttal to my husband’s GOMAR. We were told that the Army prosecutors (SJA) would review the rebuttal and meet with the new General last Thursday to make their recommendation and that he would make his final decision about whether or not to dismiss it. That meeting did not happen. SJA has a meeting with the General every Thursday and we were told that the rebuttal was on the agenda for this week’s meeting. It’s been a looooooong day with no word from our civilian attorney or the Army attorney. So we wait… And we expect.

Here’s the thing about waiting: Sometimes your chocolate melts. We’ve been waiting for almost thirty-two months. For more than thirteen hundred days, we’ve waited. When we remember that we’re expecting victory and redemption and mind-blowing, beautiful ending to this story, we are able to take the time to enjoy the moments we’re living in. When we forget what we’re expecting, we miss out on the good stuff. I have to be perfectly honest here. We’ve missed out on more good stuff in the last 1300+ days than we could ever recall. A LOT of chocolate has melted.

But… we’re still standing. Our marriage has survived. Our children have not only survived, they’re all flippin’ AMAZING. Yes, even Sofija. Although we’ve come up with at least a hundred plans, We haven’t sought vengeance. We’re definitely not as healthy or fit as we were thirty-two months ago, but we’re still alive and we haven’t let ourselves go to the point of no return (I hope).

Please know that we are eternally grateful for all of the prayer and encouragement and phone calls and messages. If I haven’t replied to you, I promise it’s not personal. It’s just painful to repeatedly type, “We don’t know anything.” We don’t know anything.

Tonight my chocolate was to turn off my phone and messages for a while, snuggle on the couch with Sofija, sip a gin and tonic, and binge-watch Orphan Black. Don’t judge.

I don’t often read the King James translation of the Bible and I certainly didn’t memorize the KJ version of Jeremiah 29:11. But today I was searching the Bible on expectations and found this…

Jeremiah 29:11KJV  For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an EXPECTED END.

It’s almost over.

One thought on “waiting…

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