originally published May 31, 2011 at http://kacinpoint.com

About a week ago, the following entry found it’s way into my journal….

When HE asks you out on a date, He ALWAYS picks up the tab.

After seventeen and a half years of marriage, I can’t imagine what it would be like to date again.  To be honest, the very thought of dating has kept me married on more than one occasion.  Before my dear hubby stalked me and forced me into submission, I had a few monumental bad dates.  One time a guy asked me out that owned race horses.  He called and asked if I’d like to go to a very nice restaurant.  I didn’t know him well enough to tell him where I lived so I asked him to pick me up where I worked.  He showed up in a shiny new white corvette.  Conversation was awkward and I think we both knew pretty quickly that there wouldn’t be a second date.  When the check came he got up and went to the bathroom.  He went from the bathroom to the restaurant’s front door and waited for me to pay.  Nice move.  Then there was the guy that did get a second date.  And a third.  And four or five more after that.  Not one single time did this guy have a plan.  Every phone call was filled with questions directed at me.  “So…Do you want to pick me up or do you want me to pick you up?”  “What time do you want to go some where?”  “Do you know where you want to go?”  “Do you think we should go eat or see or movie or do something different?”  “What do you think I should wear?”  “Do you think my jeans make my butt look big?”  Okay.  It may have been a girlfriend and not the bad date asking the big butt question, but you get the idea.  I even once went on a date with a guy who had never bothered to tell me about the fact that he was recently divorced.  We were supposed to see a movie.  Instead, we spent several hours in the theater parking lot while I listened to him cry over his ex-wife and he asked me for advice on how to win her back.  Great date!

The doors that God opened on my trip to Serbia.  Those doors were just a small little piece of the “good date” puzzle.  He opened doors, pulled out my chair, paid the check, listened to what I had to say and made all the plans.  He took care of every single detail.  All I had to do was make myself pretty, follow Him out my front door and climb in His vehicle willing to go wherever He wanted to take me.

Today I had a realization.

Two weeks before I left for Serbia we embarked on a ten day vacation.  Just before we left for that vacation the owner of the house we’re living in informed us that they would not be renewing our lease.  They are moving back into the house and we must be out by the end of May.  While we were on our vacation I got an email from the tenants of a rental house we own in Georgia.  They unexpectedly got orders for North Carolina and they would be out of the house by the end of May.  I left for Serbia four days after returning from our vacation and the minute I returned from Serbia I began obsessing about where we would live and how we would carry two houses if the one in Georgia sits empty for a while.

Which takes me to today’s realization.  I’ve been a bad date.  Three years ago God moved our family to Washington, DC.  Last year He sent us to Serbia to adopt our daughter.  This year, he sent me back to Serbia and He has plans for me to return.

Deuteronomy 31:8 “It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

Hebrews 13:5 “…..I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

The word forsake is a verb meaning…..to quit or leave entirely; to abandon; to refuse

In fifteen days I turn 40.  Forty.  F.O.R.T.Y.  Four times ten.  Five times eight.  Two times twenty.  Half of eighty.  That’s the date I want to be obsessing over.  My God will NOT forsake me.  He has opened doors for me that no man can close.  He has NEVER left us homeless.  We haven’t always had the home that we thought we would have, but we’ve always had a home.  I just have to trust that this time will be no different.  If you’re praying for our family I do have some specific requests.

A) Someone needs to live in our house in Georgia.  We don’t care if it’s new owners or new renters.  It just needs to be occupied. B) We need clarity about where we should live here.  Do we rent?  Do we buy?  Do we rent a summer house, store all of our goods and wait for permanent housing until the end of summer?  C) Our kids need to feel peace and security through these big transitions.  D)  Our kids’ parents need to set a good example by exhibiting peace and security through these big transitions.  E)  I need focus on writing and revisions and I need for my days to be free from distractions.  F)  I have a party to plan.  You don’t really have to pray for it, but I want it to be memorable.  After all, there is only one chance to celebrate being half of eighty 🙂