“Look straight ahead,
and fix your EYES on what lies before you.”
On September 17, 2009, I looked into the eyes of my daughter. When I scrolled down to her photo on the waiting children website, the first thing I noticed were her eyes. I can’t honestly say that I focused on any other thing about her appearance. I saw my reflection in those eyes and I knew that no matter where or when she was born and what it would take to bring her home, she was my daughter.
The verse above is one that I often recite in my head. I tend to be a little okay maybe a lot ADD. I need a reminder on occasion that I need to be focused on what’s in front of me. Throughout this whole adoption process, I have had to remind myself daily that I would meet Ana-Sophia in God’s timing. In the mean-time, I needed to focus on my husband and the children that God allowed me to grow in my womb. I have always known that my husband and children were spectacular specimens of the human race, but these past seven months have shown me exactly what they are all made of. I realized a few nights ago that there has not been one single moment during this journey where any of us have doubted this calling. Not one single complaint about the sacrifices being made has escaped the lips of my children. What I have heard from their mouths on a daily basis are prayers for the protection and provision of Ana-Sophia and gleeful outbursts of, “I can’t wait to get my little sister!”
God’s timing is here. We are planning to fly out in two days. I can tell you how to say leg, stomach, nose, brown, mom, dad, brother, sister, and eyes in Serbian. I can’t remember how to say hello for the life of me. I have an uncomfortable amount of money in my possession and a bag packed with orphanage donations and pretty little wrapped gift boxes. There is a twin bed made in pretty girlie bedding sitting next to a dresser with the words love, dream, and laugh on the drawers, waiting to be claimed by a five year old little girl.
I think it’s pretty safe now to focus my okos on the little girl that will soon call me Mama.