Luke 24 But on the first day of the week, at early dawn, the women went to the tomb bringing the spices which they had prepared [to finish anointing the body]. 2 And they found the [large, circular] stone rolled back from the tomb, 3 but when they went inside, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. 4 While they were perplexed and wondering about this, suddenly, two men in dazzling clothing stood near them; 5 and as the women were terrified and were bowing their faces to the ground, the men said to them, “Why are you looking for the living One among the dead? 6 He is not here, but has risen. Remember how He told you, while He was still in Galilee, 7 saying that the Son of Man must be handed over to sinful men, and be crucified, and on the third day rise [from death to life].”
Happy Resurrection Sunday! Jesus rose from the dead so that you and I could have a new life. The empty tomb gives us the hope of redemption, healing, freedom, provison, protection, resurrection, and eternal life. The only requirement from us is belief. If you need more evidence of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection, I highly recommend listening to Jeremiah Johnston’s speech at Davos this year, or his interview this week (at least watch the last 15min) with Shawn Ryan. He provides mountains of historical and archaelogical evidence and points the viewer to all the places you need to look for verification.
In John 14 Thomas, one of the disciples, is questioning Jesus about how they (Jesus’ followers) will know the way to where Jesus is going. Jesus had just told them that He was about to be crucified, would and instructed them to love each other. Jesus responed to Thomas in verse 6 – “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father (God) except through me.” Earlier in John, Jesus was speaking to a crowd and answering questions about his identity. John 8:31 Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. 32 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
I encourage you this Easter to seek truth. Whether you’re reading this on a phone or a laptop, you have access to the Bible, all the other religious texts, and millions of archaeological and historical documents. Search. Read. Compare.
Holy Week 2007, while undergoing testing that would lead to being diagnosed with cancer, I heard a sermon on Good Friday that forever changed the days leading up to the Resurrection for me. Then came Lenten Season 2026…
The entire world entered the Lenten season this year after two weeks of trying to digest the things we were reading in the January 30th Epstein files release. All of the conspiracies that got many of us labeled “delusional” in the last decade, are now known facts. What were once called, “conspiracy theories”, are now proven facts. Monsters are real. The fact that they not only continue to walk free, but hold power in all facets of society – Unjust.
On the first Holy Thursday, after the Last Supper, Jesus and the apostles went to the garden of Gethsemane (Luke 22:39-46). It was there that Judas arranged to have Him arrested (Luke 22:47-48). In a moment filled with tension and despair, Jesus experienced profound anguish as He prayed, knowing the trials that lay ahead. As the weight of humanity’s sins pressed down on Him, He sought solace from His disciples, yet found them unable to stay awake and support Him during such a pivotal time. Jesus began Good Friday having spent the night in prison and being mistreated by guards after being betrayed and abandoned by those closest to him (Mark 14:34). The betrayal by Judas not only marked a tragic turning point in the events leading to the crucifixion but also highlighted the stark contrast between loyalty and treachery among His followers. In the early hours of Good Friday, Pontius Pilate (the Roman Governor of Judea) and Herod (the client King of Galilee), each seeking to evade responsibility, sent Jesus back and forth to one another; the final decision on Jesus’ execution rested with Pilate. Pilate and Herod were political enemies who bonded over their collaboration to condemn Jesus. Joseph Caiaphas was the Jewish High Priest. He was a Sadduccee (the wealthy aristocracy), appointed to the political position of High Priest by the Roman Government, worked closely with Pilate, and oversaw the Sanhedrin (A council of 70 or 71 elders, scribes, and priests that functioned as the highest Jewish court). The Sanhedrin didn’t have the legal authority to condemn someone to death. They needed Pilate to do so, and thus they manipulated the political tensions of the time to ensure that the Roman governor would be compelled to pronounce the death sentence, fulfilling the prophecy while also reflecting the depth of human injustice.
1. Pilate knew Jesus was innocent.
“I find no fault in this man.” — Luke 23:4
He repeats this three times (Luke 23:4, 14, 22).
2. Pilate’s wife warned him.
“Have nothing to do with that righteous man, for I have suffered much because of him in a dream today.” — Matthew 27:19
That would’ve rattled any man.
3. Pilate actively tried to release Him.
“Pilate sought to release Him…” — John 19:12
That’s as blunt as it gets. He wanted to let Jesus go.
4. He offered the crowd a way out (Barabbas).
He picked the worst criminal available thinking the people would obviously choose Jesus. They didn’t.
5. He tried to satisfy the crowd with a beating instead of execution.
“So then Pilate took Jesus and had Him flogged.” — John 19:1 This was a political move—he hoped the crowd would be satisfied and he could release Him.
6. He ultimately feared the crowd and Rome more than doing what was right.
The Jewish leaders said:
“If you release this man, you are no friend of Caesar.” — John 19:12 That was a political threat. Pilate folded.
7. He washed his hands to show he didn’t want His blood.
“I am innocent of this man’s blood.” — Matthew 27:24
That’s the move of a man who wants out but has no backbone left.
Ten days into 2026 Lent, we went to war with Iran. I want this to be an essay and not a novel, so I won’t delve into all the reasons this war is unjust. But it’s unjust. And before anyone jumps into my comments stating all the reasons Iran needs a regime change, I don’t want to hear it. War destroyed my family. War turned what had been a home filled with joy and peace into a breeding ground for trauma. Unless you can justify the amount of death and destruction American military families have dealt with fighting foreign wars, please keep your opinions to yourself. I’m not Pilate. You will not change my mind.
The first time my ex-husband disappeared and turned his phone off was 12 years ago. After he retired from the military and we moved to Florida in 2016, it became a regular occurrence. Somewhere in those years I began a practice of saying, “Thank you God, for shining light in the dark” before my feet hit the floor each morning. Some days it’s followed up with things like, “Expose it ALL!”, “Expose THEM all!”, or “Hold me if what’s hidden is going to hurt!”, but the intent of my little morning prayer is always the same… Let there be light!
Almost every Lenten season in the last fifteen years, there has been a repentance and forgiveness box in my house that gets burned between Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday. This year, right next to it is my little sign that says, “God Keeps His Promises”. He does, but with the state of the world I need to be reminded daily.
Everything in our reality is currently chaotic. AI has made it impossible to know what is true and what is generated. Algorithms feed everyone a confirmation bias that divide us with every glance at a screen. The sun has been throwing a tantrum for the last year and the radiation it keeps shooting at the planet is causing earthquakes an dormant volcanoes to wake up with a vengeance. Our magnetic poles can’t decide where they’re supposed to be. Comets and meteors keep showing up in our galaxy and getting a little too close for comfort. There are things showing up in the skies around the world that shouldn’t be there. Documents on all the ways our government has experimented on and manipulated our nation have been declassified. And then there are wars, and rumors of wars… In the 30 days between the Israel/US attack on Iran, and 2026 Palm Sunday, the amount of light that’s shone in the darkness has been hard to keep up with or process. We have access to more information than any human could digest in a lifetime and all of it makes your head spin trying to figure out who is fighting on the side of good and who is fighting on the side of evil. Everywhere I go, I see people who are struggling to wrap their heads around it all. My heart aches for each and every person who is just now seeing the crazy matrix we live in. The only consolation is that there is a reliable source of comfort in the chaos. That source of comfort is this -All that is being revealed is indisputable evidence that God does indeed keep his promises. He said that nothing would be hidden and that He would expose EVERYTHING. (Luke 8:17, Mark 4:22) (Luke 12:2-4) (Job 12:22, Daniel 2:22) (John 1:5) (1 Corinthians 4:5) (Ephesians 5:11-14)
The barrage of light shining in the darkness has led to one extraordinary Holy Week. Most conversations I’ve had this week have been filled with stories of breakthrough, healing, both painful and encouraging revelations, deep loss, and monumental gain. Friends, family, world events, neighborhood chatter – nothing about this week has been ordinary. In our house, Holy Week started a day early. On March 28th, my baby girl (who’d been happy all day) burst into tears and said that she was “so sad” and that she “wouldn’t see Gumbo the dog anymore because he died”. I texted my son who was at his Dad’s with Gumbo and asked if Gumbo was okay. He looked for Gumbo and found that he’d drowned in the pool. Gumbo would’ve been 18 on June 1st and he’s been with us since he was 5 weeks old. He was dearly loved! It broke my heart that my son had to find him and I didn’t want him to be alone all weekend, so Sof and I got ready to make the 45min drive to be with him. My ex sent several messages stating that I was not allowed at his house unless he was home. When I asked our oldest son if he would go be with his brother, I learned that my ex had portrayed himself as a victim to our oldest kiddos after his wages were garnished several months ago because he was many thousands of dollars in arrears on support. I never said anything to any of them. Their parents’ finances and court orders are not things I ever wanted my kids to even think about. But this is the cost of war. It’s unjust! I drop more post-its in the forgiveness and repentance box and glance at my little sign. Comfort. God keeps his promises.
Sweet Gumbo
Palm Sunday was spent with Dr. Steven Greer. That’s an essay in itself. Monday through Thursday were filled with long-awaited business opportunities (I’ve been un/self-employed for six months), extraordinary moments and sunsets with people I love dearly, and clarity on my next steps. Extraordinary. Holy.
And then came Good Friday. This the day we reflect on Jesus’ crucifixion. It’s also the day my baby girl turned 21. TWENTY-ONE!! Unless she lives to be 100, there are only two times in her life that her birthday will fall on Good Friday. What a year to have a birthday on the day that gives every promise of hope, healing, restoration, grace, redemption, and resurrection! This is only the third week she’s been able to spend with her dad this year. He sent a message saying that I could come over while he was out for a couple of hours, but after the directives a few days ago to not be at his house when he’s not there, it felt like a trap. Our daughter was threatened with trespassing charges a couple months ago, so yeah… We’ll wait and have a Resurrection/21st birthday party on Sunday. Considering that Jesus’ crucifixion is estimated to have taken place on April 3rd, it actually seems quite fitting and just to celebrate her April 3rd birthday on the third day.
This week of high-highs, low-lows, mind-boggling global events, and hundreds of post-its dropped in my forgiveness box, has led me to study and think deeply about the very first Holy Week. In the hours leading up to the Crucifixion, Jesus’ experienced more betrayal, abuse, vulnerability, doubt, and pain than most of us can imagine experiencing in a lifetime. It was all necessary, but it was so damn brutal and it was extraordinarily unjust.
One of the first verses I ever memorized was John 3:16 – For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”Romans 3:23
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”Romans 6:23
“but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”Romans 5:8
“if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9
With all that has been hidden coming into the light, there is so much to break down and analyze about every single detail of history that has led the human race to this place and time. There is still so much that’s unknown and every truth revealed leads to a dozen more questions about what hasn’t. I don’t know about you, but right now I hunger for absolute truths and some-semblance of certainty more than any other time in my life. No matter what I learn, what makes sense in this world, or what doesnt, God has proven to me that He is true to His Word. I was miraculously healed from the cancer I was diagnosed with in 2007. All of my needs have always been met. He’s given me peace that surpasses all understanding, made a way in the wilderness, shown me my path, parted seas, closed and opened doors to protect me from myself, exposed SO much that was hidden, and proven time and time again that His justice surpasses man’s. Those verses above are not just filler. They are the closest thing I’ve found to absolute truth and certainty. Historical and archeological evidence have proven that Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection, fulfilled over 300 prophecies and an estimated 150 Biblical prophecies have been fulfilled in just the last few years. What has been proven historically, and the things He’s done for me personally, are the truth and certainty that satisfy my hunger.
The hope to get through the extraordinarily brutal and chaotic time we’re living in is really as simple as the path laid out in the verses above.
Do your own research into historical prophecies and fulfillment. Reflect on what you are grateful for and what is true. Once you believe, say it to someone. Those are really the only requirements, but if you want all the good stuff that comes with believing, the gifts do have some strings attached.
Galatians 5:1 Christ set us free so that we could enjoy freedom! So stand firm, and don’t get tied down again by the chains of slavery.
Repentance equals freedom and it literally means, “To turn away from”. Repent. Truly repent. Find a quiet place where you can be alone with God and lay it all out to Him. Write it down and then burn it or shred it if you need to. Make your own box to burn if you need to. Accept that God’s grace covers your messes and let it go. Fake repentace will never lead you to the freedom that was promised you. True repentance leads to freedom.
Forgive. Repentance and forgiveness go hand in hand. Yes, I know forgiveness is HARD. I’ve dropped hundreds of post-its into my forgiveness and repentance box in the last few weeks that all start with, “I forgive him for…”. It seems like every time I feel like I’ve finally forgiven and let go of one painful thing, there’s something new to lay down. So I start forgiving again. Side bar about forgiveness – one of my hardest life lessons has been accepting that no matter how many times in life I take responsibility for my crap and apologize to people, I may never get an apology from the people who’ve hurt me. Yes, the absence of remorse and apologies is unjust. I choose to forgive them anyway. Forgiveness sets me free. I give grace because I need grace. We all do. Vengeance is God’s. Let Him take care of them. He was gracious enough to allow His Son to take on the weight of the world so that we don’t have to carry all the things that others do to us. Lay it down. Forgive them.
Jesus’ Crucifixion involved severe torture, including a brutal scourging, being nailed through the wrists and feet to a wooden cross, and being forced to carry the weight of that cross on his back to the site where He knew He would be murdered. He hung there naked, bleeding, in agony, being ridiculed and scoffed at. He was crucified between two thieves, endured mockings, suffered asphyxiation after his lungs were pierced. As he hung there watching bystanders bidding on his clothes that had been torn off, he said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34) One of the thieves hanging next to Him confessed that he was a criminal that deserved to die. He then said that Jesus was an innocent man an asked to be remembered in Jesus’ kingdom. Jesus’ reply was breathtakingly beautiful – “Truly I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.” (Luke 23:40-43) In the last hour of His life, Jesus cried out to God from the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken (abandoned) me in my time of need?” (Matthew 27:46) died after roughly six hours on what is calculated to have been Friday, April 3, 33 AD. Jesus was beaten, tortured, mocked, exposed, demoralized, insulted, abused, and felt abandoned. He showed us with the thief hanging next to Him that it’s never too late to believe. The thief had no time left to change his life. He gave him grace anyway. He forgave his murderers who continued to torment him until the very end. He asked God to forgive the crowd as they cheered for his death. He felt abandoned, but until His last breath still acknowledged God as His Father. He showed us that there is no wrong too big to be forgiven, and that repentance and belief in Him are ours for the taking until our last breath. He modeled that our identity as children of God is absolute, no matter how beaten down, exposed, or tattered our souls are. His last words were, “Father, into your hands I entrust my spirit.” (Luke 23:46) He did it all so that we don’t have to carry the weight of all the ugliness of this world on our shoulders. How beautifully unjust!
I am a Christian. I believe that I am saved and that after this life I will live eternally in Heaven. I keep finding myself in discussions about what “salvation” means and this morning I woke up with this post circling around in my head.
I’ll be honest. I’ve had more than one existential crisis in my life. The most recent was only seven or eight years ago. We were in a church with unhealthy leadership, I was grieving the many losses in a very short period of time, my husband was under federal investigation for something he did not do, and I was dealing with the reality of parenting a very broken and destructive little girl that I had been certain God wanted us to adopt. I was angry with God. I was disappointed. I was scared. I had no hope. And I began to question everything I had ever believed about my faith. If you’re in the middle of your own existential crisis, let me offer you some hope. You’re in the right place!
When I found myself at the lowest, scariest, most desperate time of my life, I made a conscious decision to start seeking truth from the Bible instead of looking for answers from books or sermons. I spent some time cutting out the middle-man. I won’t lie and tell you that it was easy. I had to come to the realization that much of what I’d come to not only believe, but practice and cheer for, simply wasn’t found anywhere in God’s Word. Probably my biggest revelation was concerning exactly what it means to “be saved”.
Romans 3:10 And the Scriptures agree, for it is written:
There is no one who always does what is right, no, not even one!
Romans 3:23 for we all have sinned and are in need of the glory of God.
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.
Salvation is a gift that cannot be earned. We are ALL sinners and deserve death, but God offers eternal life. But what if you’re a good person? We are ALL sinners.
James 4:17 Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.
Yeah. Did you eat well and care for you body today? Did you help the old lady at the grocery store that was struggling to load things in her car? Did you let the Mom in her minivan with three carseats have that perfect parking space you’d been waiting for? When your spouse said something that offended you did you respond with love and grace? Sin is sin is sin. It doesn’t matter if you committed adultery last night, or if you gossiped about your neighbor, or failed to pick up the phone and call your depressed friend when they crossed your mind. You’re a sinner.
But what if I’m a REALLY GOOD person?
Ephesians 2:8-9 For it was only through this wonderful grace that we believed in him. Nothing we did could ever earn this salvation, for it was the gracious gift from God that brought us to Christ! So no one will ever be able to boast, for salvation is never a reward for good works or human striving.
There is nothing you can do to earn salvation, except to choose it.
John 3:16 “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.
1 Corinthians 15:1-4 Dear friends, let me give you clearly the heart of the gospel that I’ve preached to you—the good news that you have heartily received and on which you stand. For it is through the revelation of the gospel that you are being saved, if you fasten your life firmly to the message I’ve taught you, unless you have believed in vain. For I have shared with you what I have received and what is of utmost importance:
The Messiah died for our sins, fulfilling the prophecies of the Scriptures. He was buried in a tomb and was raised from the dead after three days, as foretold in the Scriptures.
To be saved means to wholeheartedly believe that John 3:16 and 1 Corinthians 15:1-4 are true.
This is where what I believed about salvation got a little messy. Chances are good that if you’ve been in any church in America (and many other countries), at the end of a service you’ve heard someone ask those in attendance to pray a prayer if they wanted to be saved and then raise their hand if they’d “prayed that prayer”. While hands are raised the person who has led the prayer most likely counted.
Romans 10:9-10 If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved.
My guess is that the “sinner’s prayer” (as the prayer is often referred to) is derived from the requirement of “openly declaring”. But guess what? There is no “sinner’s prayer” in scripture. I struggle with a visceral response to anyone that measures the success of a church on the number of people who “prayed that prayer” on a Sunday morning.
If you’re struggling with believing that you ARE saved, let me offer you some freedom. If you believe and you openly tell others that you believe, you ARE saved. It’s really that simple.
But it’s not simple.
Once you believe, you have responsibilities.
1 Peter 2:1-3 So get rid of all evil behavior. Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech.Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment,now that you have had a taste of the Lord’s kindness.
2 Timothy 2:22-26 Run as fast as you can from all the ambitions and lusts of youth; and chase after all that is pure. Whatever builds up your faith and deepens your love must become your holy pursuit. And live in peace with all those who worship our Lord Jesus with pure hearts.Stay away from all the foolish arguments of the immature, for these disputes will only generate more conflict. For a true servant of our Lord Jesus will not be argumentative but gentle toward all and skilled in helping others see the truth, having great patience toward the immature. Then with meekness you’ll be able to carefully enlighten those who argue with you so they can see God’s gracious gift of repentance and be brought to the truth. This will cause them to rediscover themselves and escape from the snare of Satan who caught them in his trap so that they would carry out his purposes.
Matthew 16:24-26 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?”
If you read those three passages and thought, “Holy crap!” How on earth will I ever perfect being a Christian?” Well, you won’t. If we could perfect it, we wouldn’t need a savior. But we DO need a savior. And I’ll let you in on something…
2 Corinthians 5:14-17 Either way, Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life.He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them. So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! THIS MEANS THAT ANYONE WHO BELONGS TO CHRIST IS A NEW PERSON. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
When you wholeheartedly believe, you are changed. I once heard a sermon on salvation where the pastor posted a picture similar to this…
It is a great representation of what it feels like to believe and know Jesus. Sin is not the only thing we need to be rescued from. I don’t know a single person who hasn’t felt like they were drowning in some bad situation, or emotions, or illness, or addiction, or pain; at some point in time. Salvation is God reaching down and pulling you out of that thing you are drowning in, or at least holding your hand so that the thing doesn’t kill you. It’s a new and changed way of living.
Christianity offers so much more than eternal life. It makes it possible to endure human life.
It offers grace…
1 John 1:9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.
It offers healing in relationships.
James 5:16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
It offers hope.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a HOPE.
It offers physical healing, and emotional healing, and freedom from all things that hold us in bondage, and peace, and favor, and all the good things we can never seem to find through our own efforts.
If you’ve read this far… wow! I’m impressed.
If you’ve read this far and want to share with someone that you believe, feel free to contact me. I filter my comments so you can leave a comment and I’ll get back to you.
If you’re going through your own existential crisis, or you’re drowning in church wounds, or you prayed a prayer and raised your hand and nothing changed in your life, or this is all completely new information to you… I’d be happy to answer your questions, but I’m NOT the authority on Christianity. If you reach out to me I’d be happy to pray for you, but the very best thing you can do in any of the above situations is to READ THE BIBLE! If you don’t own a physical Bible I highly recommend that you get one (I’m a big fan of the NLT and ESV translations). If you don’t own a physical Bible and you’re not interested in getting one, you can download the YouVersion app on your phone or you can read it online at Bible Gateway.
Philippians 1:6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
Tomorrow, March 30, 2018, is the beginning of the Jewish Passover. Passover is a celebration of freedom commemorating when God liberated the Jewish people from slavery. You can read all about the Passover in scripture HERE, but the gist of why it’s called “Passover” is that the Jewish people were to put the blood of a male goat or sheep around their door frames so that their homes would be “passed over” on the night that God delivered judgment on Egypt by killing the first-born child of each home. The homes covered by blood were protected from judgment.
I’m not so great at Bible timelines, but around thirteen hundred years after the Jewish people were freed from slavery, on the first day of Passover, Jesus had dinner with his disciples, washed their feet, and told them that one of them was about to betray him. On the Christian calendar, that last supper is commemorated today. So yeah, it’s a good day to wash someone’s feet. 😉 In the three days following that last meal, Jesus was betrayed, tortured, beaten, crucified, and on the third day arose from the dead. For those who believe that Jesus was crucified and resurrected so that we may have eternal life, our passover looks like a cross and an empty tomb. The blood of Jesus spares us from judgment.
I sat today and read the story of the crucifixion and I was brought to tears. I just kept thinking about God the Father witnessing his son being tortured and killed. He allowed the horrors of the crucifixion so that every human thereafter could live in the freedom of the resurrection. He watched and waited because he had complete faith in His ability to fulfill His promises. As a parent, I can’t even imagine.
At the moment, I have one prodigal child and one that has recently developed epilepsy. In both situations I’m having to make daily (sometimes minute by minute) choices. I get to choose fear, or I get to choose faith. In all the choosing I’m also doing a whole lot of seeking wisdom.
Parenting is hard, y’all. I firmly believe that the Bible is meant to be the guide book for everything in life. But guess what? Other than dishing out discipline and leaving them an inheritance, it doesn’t give many specifics when it comes to bringing up little humans. Wouldn’t you just love to know how Noah convinced his kids to get on the ark? We know they were there. But seriously… just getting my kids in the car for church is like herding cats. Or how God, knowing the pain and suffering Jesus would endure, didn’t interfere?
Because I already know that someone is going to comment with, “What about Proverbs 22:6?” I’d like to point out a few things about that verse. 1) It says, “Raise a child in the way they should go and WHEN THEY ARE OLD they will not depart from it. It doesn’t say a dang thing about when they’re young and stupid, and have an underdeveloped frontal lobe, and the inability to make rational decisions. 2) It’s REALLY vague. The writer makes the assumption that every reader actually knows “the way they should go”. Hello?? Have you met the human race? NONE of us have “the way” all figured out. 3) The very next verse says, “The rich rule over the poor and the borrower is slave to the lender.” So maybe, just maybe, that verse is actually referring to teaching our kids to work hard and stay out of debt.
Although it’s hard to find many intimate conversations or outtakes between parents and children in scripture, I have found one thing that is always consistent: when children are sick, struggling, or even dead, moms and dads always seek and cling to God on their children’s behalf. Biblical parents had crazy faith, y’all.
I believe that the only two tools our enemy needs to keep us from being in intimate relationship with God are isolation and distraction. Unfortunately, I think we’re living in a time when everyone is more isolated and distracted than at any other time in history. I’m pretty sure that my need for my laptop and phone have made my faith look ridiculous when compared to the mom in 2 Kings who literally held onto the feet of the prophet Elisha until he came back to her house to raise her son from the dead. I want that kind of faith.
Hebrews 11:1 Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.
Possibly the most detailed account of parenting in scripture isn’t something that actually happened. It’s a parable (a simple story used by Jesus to illustrate a spiritual lesson) about a prodigal son. I love the story for many reasons. First off, I’ve been a prodigal child. I’ve run from God, made some pretty awful choices, squandered things He’s given me, and come crawling back begging for grace. Every. Single. Time… God has wrapped his arms around me, celebrated me, and given me waaaaay more love and grace than I could ever possibly deserve. I also love it because the father in the story was there waiting and prepared to celebrate the son upon his return. He had a ring and a robe and new shoes and a fattened calf just waiting for the celebration of his son’s return. He had faith that his son WOULD return.
In 2010 our baby girl had an MRI that showed she had scarring in her temporal lobe. To be specific, she had extra tissue on her right hippocampus and right temporal horn. In that first year that she was ours she would frequently freeze. We, along with her pediatrician, had suspected that she was having seizures so we saw a neurologist that ordered the MRI and two EEGs. The first EEG showed some abnormal activity, but nothing significant. The second EEG also showed some slow/abnormal activity, but nothing significant. The freezing stopped and we just assumed it had been caused by her brain trying to process a whole new world of information.
Fast forward to two weeks ago… she climbed in bed next to me one morning and in the middle of rubbing my face and asking if she could have cake, she got a look of terror on her face, screamed, began smacking her lips and swallowing, and then couldn’t form words. It took two or three minutes for her to be able to speak. A few hours later, it happened again. The next day we saw it happen two more times. The day after that, it happened four times in three hours. On the third day I started recording what we were witnessing and sent it to her doctor. While waiting to hear from her doctor, Dr. Google quickly told me what is happening looks like temporal lobe seizures. Last week an EEG showed bilateral seizure activity in her temporal lobe. We’re still waiting to get in with a pediatric neurologist for an MRI to see if there is any change from what the 2010 MRI showed, which means she is not yet on anti-seizure medication. She’s still having several seizures every day and her mental and verbal processing is definitely “off”.
Let me tell you something. Watching your child go from doing complicated math to not being able to form words in a matter of seconds is NOT fun. It’s realllly hard to choose faith in those few minutes when I can’t reach her. It’s also realllly hard to choose faith in the moments when I can’t reach my prodigal.
But then I remember…. we’ve been passed over. This house and this family are covered by the blood and God ALWAYS fulfills His promises!
I hope you experience all that Resurrection Sunday has to offer. May your dreams be resurrected. May your faith be resurrected. May your joy. and hope, and relationships, and all the goodness that this world tries to steal be RESURRECTED. And may all the yuck pass you over.
If you’ve actually read all the way to the bottom, thank you. I forget that I even have this blog and I do appreciate those who haven’t given up on me as a writer.
I looked through old posts that I’ve written during Holy Week and found this one. The title is somewhat appropriate for my current season of life.
It’s Good Friday. It’s the day that Christians honor the excruciating sacrifice made on the path to the cross so that we can embrace all the goodness that came with the Resurrection.
Here’s the thing… When I wrote this post, I thought I understood the depth of the meaning of Good Friday. The truth is that I didn’t have a fricking clue. In the years since I wrote the following words, my world (and the world at large) have unraveled. Every single descriptor I held as my identity ten years ago is gone except for these two, I am a Christian and I am a Mom. That’s it. That’s about all that’s left of the woman who thought she understood.
I now find myself on the back nine of life trying to redefine it. Dating is excruciating!! A new career is excruciating! Single/part-time parenting young adults is excruciating! Navigating the world solo after three decades as part of a tribe is excruciating! But I survived the crucifixion of my life.
Many of you have asked me about “dating”. A year ago I had lots of silly rules. Now I’m down to… I won’t date anyone that could be my child or my father and no missionary dating. Pretty simple guidelines. For the curious, even with simple guidelines, I’m not dating anyone. I’ve been okay with that. I’ve needed time to heal and my top priority has been establishing myself and insuring that Sofija’s future is taken care of. But yes, I get lonely. Which leads to Good Friday. I’m quite certain that my Savior was lonely as he was brutalized and put to death. In the brutality, He knew that Sunday was coming….
Originally posted ten years ago –
Throughout the Lenten season this box has greeted anyone that walks into my home. For six weeks words of repentance and forgiveness have been scratched out on pieces of paper and dropped into the box.
“I forgive _____ for hurting me.”
“God, I repent for not trusting you.”
“God, I forgive you for not yet healing my child.”
etc…
All those words meaningless without the power of this day, the very best and the very worst of Fridays.
The word “excruciating” was created just to describe the events that took place on Good Friday. Its Latin derivative is literally “out of the cross”.
Every single thing that holds you back in life? Every bit of suffering, pain, distress, and torture.. Let it all go. Jesus experienced “excruciating” on Good Friday so that you don’t have to carry any of it. ANY of it!
As a tangible reminder of what died on the cross, the forgiveness/repentance box that greets those who enter my home will be burned on Resurrection Sunday.
Today, on Good Friday, I encourage you to let go of anything that holds you back. Build your own box to burn on Sunday.
Resurrection is coming.
Redemption is yours for the taking.
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful to forgive.
Somewhere along my countdown to the big 4-0, I began taking inventory. No, I haven’t been counting my towels or dinner plates (although they might be next). I’ve recounted accomplishments and failures. I’ve tried to organize my future goals and dreams. And….I’ve inventoried my relationships. The PROductive ones and the DEstructive ones. The relationships that draw me nearer to God and the ones that pull me away from Him. This inventory process has led me to some great realizations about how I want to celebrate living for half of eighty years. I plan to go away ALL BY MYSELF for a few days, but to mark the end of my fourth decade I want to have coffee, or breakfast or lunch or a glass of wine with the forty women who have the the largest impact on my life. I’m not done counting, but I’m feeling enormously blessed at this moment by just how many amazing women I get to do life with.
Here’s a few Biblical factoids on the number forty (more will come throughout the week)…..
Moses was on the mountain with God for 40 days (TWICE) (Exo 24:18 KJV) And Moses went into the midst of the cloud, and gat him up into the mount: and Moses was in the mount forty days and forty nights.
(Exo 34:28-29 KJV) And he was there with the LORD forty days and forty nights; he did neither eat bread, nor drink water. And he wrote upon the tables the words of the covenant, the ten commandments. (Deu 10:10 NIV) Now I had stayed on the mountain forty days and nights, as I did the first time, and the LORD listened to me at this time also. It was not his will to destroy you.
The Israelites spent 40 years in the wilderness, one year for each day they explored the Promised Land.
(Exo 16:35 KJV) And the children of Israel did eat manna forty years, until they came to a land inhabited; they did eat manna, until they came unto the borders of the land of Canaan.
(Num 14:33-34 NIV) Your children will be shepherds here for forty years, suffering for your unfaithfulness, until the last of your bodies lies in the desert. {34} For forty years–one year for each of the forty days you explored the land-you will suffer for your sins and know what it is like to have me against you.
Jesus fasted for 40 days in the wilderness (Mat 3:17 KJV) And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.
(Mat 4:1-2 KJV) Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil. {2} And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungered.
Jesus was seen in the earth 40 days after His crucifixion (Acts 1:3 NIV) After his suffering, he showed himself to these men and gave many convincing proofs that he was alive. He appeared to them over a period of forty days and spoke about the kingdom of God.
It rained for 40 days and 40 nights when God wanted to cleanse the world and start over. (Gen 7:12 KJV) And the rain was upon the earth forty days and forty nights.
Noah waited another 40 days after it rained before he opened a window in the Ark.
(Gen 8:6 KJV) And it came to pass at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made:
Lux, Libertas 