e pluribus unum II

In 1776, as our Founding Fathers were drafting our Constitution, they decided that our National motto would be “E Pluribus Unum”. Out of many, one.

When I came home from school in 7th grade after having a screaming disagreement with a friend, I was sorely disappointed by my Mom’s response. I wanted her to call my friend’s mom and do something to fix the squabble. Instead, she spoke these profound words, “If two people agree on everything, one of them is not necessary.” I would hear this phrase many more times before adulthood. It was often followed up by things like, “You should try listening to them. You might learn something.”, “Help me understand why you believe that.”, and “Nobody hears you when you’re screaming.”

This week we witnessed the assassination of a 31 year old husband and father. Charlie was not killed for the things he said. He was hated and killed for his impact. I did not agree with many things Charlie said. I did not agree with some of the company he kept. I did not have to agree with him to have a very clear grasp of what he’s done for our nation.

For 13 years Charlie has done two things that nobody else has done. He provided a safe space for young people who identify as Christian and conservative. I have a child that is Charlie’s age. Her high-school was a hostile environment for anyone with Christian conservative values and her college campus silenced those values. My daughter is a young woman whose bloodline includes Mayflower passengers, a US President, American Indians, Ellis Island immigrants, and generations of military who’ve defended her right to think and speak freely in every war in our nation’s history. All the bravery in her bloodline did nothing to protect her against the environment in the American education system that has enforced the belief that everyone must agree on everything and that anyone who disagrees with you is a threat. Charlie’s legacy is his refusal to accept that ideology, and his efforts to teach a generation how to disagree.

Along with providing a safe space for youth to identify as Christians and conservatives, Charlie taught his 93 MILLION followers how to engage in civil discourse. He didn’t seek out conversations with people who agreed with him. With huge audiences watching, he engaged in civil conversation with people who did not agree with him. He did so without yelling, without insulting, without violence or aggression, and with a willingness to listen and be questioned. He looked people in the eye and showed everyone watching how to engage people you don’t agree with and treat them as fellow human beings.

“Civil discourse is the act of engaging with others on important public matters in a way that expands knowledge and promotes mutual understanding, rather than just politeness. It involves listening respectfully to different viewpoints, seeking common ground, and fostering civic trust and a healthy social fabric.”

Technology has done it’s damndest to destroy civil discourse. Charlie did his best to restore it.

A common post I’ve see this week is that we’ve lost our humanity. I do not disagree with that statement. The human race now includes three generations that do not go home after a school spat and seek wisdom from their elders. Three generations that have no clue how to look someone in the eye, control their emotions, listen to those they disagree with without feeling threatened, or see that every human being they encounter is a thread in the fabric of our species.

An opposing viewpoint should make us curious. An opposing perspective should invoke wonder and inspire learning. If an opposing view invokes fear or anger, your amygdala has taken over your thought processes. Your frontal lobe (where rational thought takes place) has shut down. “Nobody hears you when you’re screaming” and you don’t hear anyone else when your frontal lobe is shut down. Feelings lie and feelings are easily manipulated. See: Jeremiah 17:9 and Proverbs 28:26

If you’re a Christian, Paul gave clear instructions to the Church at Ephesus that we should all heed. Ephesians 4:12-16 12 Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. 13 This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ. 14 Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. 15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. 16 He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love. – Out of many, one.

If you want to grow and be more like Christ, you have to follow his example. Get out of your house and civilly engage people. Speak truth IN LOVE. Love your neighbor as yourself. Forgive. Do not fear (control your emotions). Meet people where they are and look into their faces. Ask questions. Respectfully listen. Bless others in their coming and their going. Pray.

We are ONE body of Christ.

We are ONE nation, under God.

We are ONE human race.

If two people agree on everything, one of them is not necessary.

e pluribus unum

That’s not my name.

I would love to tell you that my family or my faith are my biggest motivators in life, but that would be dishonest. What drives me to learn, grow, or accomplish just about anything is this… curiosity.

In the last several months I have heard/read several people refer to themselves as “sinners”. Each time I’ve heard or read a Christian identify themselves as a “sinner”, it has not set well with me. The agitation it has stirred in me made me curious. So I went to the place with all the answers… Google. I’m joking. Kind of. I actually googled “In the Bible are Christians referred to as sinners?”

Here’s what I found…

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that WHILE WE WERE STILL sinners, Christ died for us.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

And then there’s Paul’s description of his new identity in Christ and his sinful nature in Romans 7…

So, my dear brothers and sisters, this is the point: You died to the power of the law when you died with Christ. And now you are united with the one who was raised from the dead. As a result, we can produce a harvest of good deeds for God. When we were controlled by our old nature, sinful desires were at work within us, and the law aroused these evil desires that produced a harvest of sinful deeds, resulting in death.  But now we have been released from the law, for we died to it and are no longer captive to its power. Now we can serve God, not in the old way of obeying the letter of the law, but in the new way of living in the Spirit.

I still don’t have it all figured out and my curiosity is still piqued so I will keep seeking answers. What I have learned thus far is that there is not a single place in scripture where Jesus refers to His followers as “sinners”. In fact, the only place in the New Testament where a believer comes close to being called a “sinner” is later in Romans 7 and in 1 Timothy 1:15 when Paul refers to himself as a “wretched man” and the “foremost of sinners”. To be clear, Paul was referring to who he was before he followed Christ.

The one conclusion I have drawn thus far is that “sinner” is not my name.

Depending on which email or social media account I am using, I do have a few titles in my signature block…

King’s Daughter, American Hero’s Wife, World Changers’ Mom,

Freedom Fighter, Author, Speaker, CEO, Orphan Advocate

This year I became the CEO of Akacia Solutions, a federal contracting company that my husband and I own (hence my lack of blogging). I spent last week in DC wearing my CEO hat.

This year I also joined the board of Centar Zvezda, the organization I’ve written about before that is providing housing and holistic care for youth who age out of orphan-care in Eastern Europe. On Monday I fly to Chiang Mai, Thailand where I’ve been invited to participate in the WWO Global Forum on Orphan-care. My friend (the founder of Centar Zvezda) Tatjana Dražilović will meet me there. I am ridiculously excited to return to Thailand for the first time in almost twenty years, but I am MORE excited to spend a few days surrounded by people from all over the world who share my passion and calling to place orphans in families and set captives free.

There are countless ways to do your part living out the Biblical mandate to care for orphans. If you need some ideas, I’ve written a few times on the topic here here here and here. In addition to those suggestions, you are MORE THAN welcome to join me in caring for youth who did not find a family before aging out. Centar Zvezda has houses for the residents outside of Belgrade, but our youth in Belgrade are currently crammed into an apartment. We would like to expand our capacity for care and we have a vision to build an entire housing complex where our youth will live alongside other college students. While we are waiting for the means to make the vision a reality, we have found a house that would make it possible to accept more youth. We have some of the money needed to purchase the house, but we need more. If you would like to support us, please email me at kcalvaresi@gmail.com and I will send you a link for donations.

Kaci Calvaresi
King’s daughter. wife. mom. author. freedom-fighter. CEO. orphan advocate.