You know how some people have meticulously organized drawers and closets, while others have meticulously clean countertops and furniture? Well, my drawers and closets are pretty organized.
As Jesus continued on toward Jerusalem, he reached the border between Galilee and Samaria. As he entered a village there, ten lepers stood at a distance, crying out, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!” He looked at them and said, “Go show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed of their leprosy.
One of them, when he saw that he was healed, came back to Jesus, shouting, “Praise God!” He fell to the ground at Jesus’ feet, thanking him for what he had done. This man was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, “Didn’t I heal ten men? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?” And Jesus said to the man, “Stand up and go. Your faith has healed you.”
As I was cleaning house today I thought back to the first week of October 2011. Just the thought of that week brought me to my knees. It was a pain-filled week. October 2011 was a pain-filled month. November and December were just as difficult. January through June of this year, the pain continued.
In the last twelve months our family has walked through a furnace. Today, as I sit and think of how many prayers have been answered in the last few months and the peace and joy in our house this first week of October 2012, I am urged to be the 10%. Today I want to be the one who returns to Jesus and gives glory to God for all He’s done in our lives. Today I am thankful for twelve months gone. Hard-lessons learned. Destructive relationships exposed. Divine relationships built. Callings revealed. Freedom gained. Doors closed. Doors opened. Time given. Continued health. Love. Grace.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
I read a post today by a fellow special needs Mom that brought me to tears. Sometimes life with a couple of stimmers can leave me feeling like I live in a parallel universe to all the Moms out there with typical kids. Those Moms try to understand. They give everything they’ve got to be supportive. But they don’t always get it. They don’t know what it’s like to wait ELEVEN YEARS for your child to be invited to a birthday party. They don’t know what it’s like to have people (who you consider to be your dearest of friends) fail to invite you to parties for their children who are the same age as yours. They don’t know what it’s like to get your entire family ready for a dinner party, only to turn back home as you reach your destination because you child is over-stimulated. They don’t know what it’s like to have their typical kids cry over the fact that they “just wish they could have a normal brother or sister”. They don’t know what it’s like to listen to other Moms brag about milestones while they slowly fall to pieces inside knowing that those bragging rights may never be their own. They just don’t know what it’s like in that parallel universe.
But… that universe is not always such a bad place to be. It’s filled with other Moms who do get it. Other Moms who encourage one another from a place of total understanding. While other Moms may sympathize, the Moms living in the special needs world can empathize. They build each other up. They’ve got your back. And… they see you. Click here to read Ellen Stumbo’s blog.
Matthew 6:25-27 25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
One year ago today, my dear hubby and I collapsed into a bed that belonged to friends who were out-of-town. We cried ourselves to sleep that night. We were homeless. We had a place to lay our heads for a while (a while being until our friends returned home and needed their beds back). We were grateful that we had a place to lay our heads. But we knew that we would wake up the next morning and have the joy of checking that box on our kids’ school registration forms indicating that we were homeless. The whole situation made zero sense. When we learned that the owners of the house we were leasing planned to move back into the house at the end of our lease, we started looking for a new home. We found a few rentals that were leased before we had a chance to even see them. We placed offers on a couple of houses and were outbid. We found an itty-bitty house on a great big lot and decided that we would just add-on and make it into the home we wanted. And then… the week before closing, we experienced an earthquake that revealed some structural issues. Three days later, we had a hurricane that flooded the house and led to drywall being ripped out. The day we were scheduled to close (while all of our things were being loaded onto a moving truck) we got a phone call from the seller telling us that they had found termites and that several of the floor joists would have to be replaced. We got the message loud and clear. We needed to waive off on buying that house. Which meant we were waiving off on our only option. For two weeks we scoured the internet, scratched our heads, and fell on our faces before God. We had ZERO success in finding a home that would allow our kids to stay in their schools. We were powerless and we had no choice but to be 100% surrendered to God’s will for our lives.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.
God delivered in a BIG way. He gave us a home that meets all of our needs (and then some). He knew that we would need a refuge over the last twelve months and not a house that was under construction. He knew the chaos that was coming.
Last December I got a phone call from DH (dear hubby) only an hour or so after he’d left for work. He had been removed from his job and he was coming back home. This chapter of our lives is still open-ended. Three months later my grandmother became ill. DH being home meant that I got to go and stay with her at the end of her life. One month after losing my grandmother, God told us to leave our church. So. Much. Loss. In such a short time…
But you know what… God had it all under control. He had already provided a safe place for us to rest at the end of every bone-weary day. He gave me the opportunity to give some hands-on love to the woman who taught me what unconditional love looks like. He has spent nine months defining my husband as His son (which is worth so much more than being a soldier). And… God showed us that His church is ONE. He may have us worshiping in different locations on a Sunday morning and paying tithes to different storehouses, but His Church is global. We are called to do life with other believers. We are called to support and encourage one another. Not just the believers we do church with on Sunday… We’re called to do life with ALL believers. So… while God had already prepared a new church body for our family, He showed us that there is no loss in that move. Our Christian family just grew.
The house where we were laying our heads to rest a year ago belongs to a part of our Christian family. The man of that house is from the Czech Republic. Last week, they returned from a month in his country and within 24hours he became critically ill. For nine days we have prayed for a miracle in this man’s life. He ran a very high fever for a very long time and there was concern about the neurological repercussions. Yesterday we celebrated him saying, “Ouch!” when tape was pulled off his leg. Later in the day he asked for fruit and ate a strawberry (his first food in more than week). This morning my husband returned from a night by his bedside. He walked in the door smiling and telling me all about the conversations that they had in the early morning hours.
I share all of this as testament that God answers prayers. Sometimes the answers may not look like we expect them to. But He knows what we need better than we can even comprehend.
Yes. The past year has been filled with unexpected, sometimes painful, and inevitably difficult, change. But in the midst of all the change God was always faithful.
Philippians 4:18-19 18 At the moment I have all I need—and more! I am generously supplied with the gifts you sent me… They are a sweet-smelling sacrifice that is acceptable and pleasing to God. 19 And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.
While God was teaching us all about his provision, He opened a door for us to pour into the nation that gave us Sofija. We have spent the last two years claiming evangelism/revival in Serbia. In two weeks, our prayers are being answered. God is sending Nick Vujicic to Serbia. We have poured our own finances into this opportunity because we believe that this is the answer to our prayers and because we want to sow into Serbia and watch God reap a harvest. Galatians 6:7 “… you will ALWAYS harvest what you sow.”
This is the last call. I am sending the money to Serbia tonight. If you feel led to sow, please go to wepay.
The entire time I’ve been typing this, I’ve had the song Closing Time by Semisonic running through my head. It’s totally inappropriate for this post and has absolutely nothing to do with God’s provision. But… since it’s now stuck in my head I thought I’d share.
I just read a blog post by my cyber-friend Gillian Marchenko on the misery joy of raising a child with special needs. If you feel overwhelmed, you’re not alone! If you feel guilty, stop! If you feel ashamed, get over it! This life is hard. Hard. Hard. It is not intended to be done alone. In Genesis 2:18 when God said, “It is not good for man to be alone…” I don’t believe He was just talking about Adam. In fact, the narcissist in me believes that what He actually meant to say was, “It is not good for Kaci (or any Mom to special needs kiddos) to be alone.” Loneliness=Isolation=Crazy Thoughts=Self-Destruction Find help! Find support! Reach out to someone…. Even if it’s someone in the cyber-world. Go HERE to read Gillian’s post. It/she rocks!
I rather enjoy that the most quotable character from ScoobyDoo is the dog. Daphne and Fred are just boring. Velma makes you think, but for the most part she’s annoying and a little self-righteous. Shaggy, well, he’s just that stoner kid from high school. At 16 he made me laugh. At 41, I just pray my teenagers don’t bring home his real-life counterpart… or worse yet, become him. Which leaves Scooby. The goofy man-dog that empowered us all with the ability to say, “Ruh-roh” when we realize we’ve gotten ourselves into a sticky situation.
Galatians 1:10 Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.
Can you guess where this is going? Let me give you another clue….
1 Thessalonians 2:4 For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.
I’ve been facing my ruh-roh moment for quite a while. I’ve acknowledged it, but I have to confess. I have had no desire to do anything about it. You see… My name is Kaci and I’m an approval addict. Specifically, I have a problem with seeking blog numbers. Knowing that large numbers of people enjoy what I write is like a drug. It wasn’t that way when I first started writing, but somewhere along the journey I started noticing all those numbers adding up and I started setting silly goals. When the goals were reached I set even bigger goals. I needed more of my drug.
About a year and a half ago I started feeling pretty strongly that I needed to move my blog to a private domain and place an ad-server on it. It would be an easy way to make a little money for doing what I love to do. Isn’t that the goal in life? “Find a way to get paid for doing what you love.” Here’s the problem. If I move my blog, I lose my stats. I start at nothing. The next step in feeding my approval addiction was to have 50,000 hits on my blog.
I’m SOOO close! I actually bought my domain a couple of months ago and told myself that as soon as I reached that magic number I would move and start all over. And then, five days ago, Mary DeMuth (an amazing author), put this as her Facebook status:
“For those of us who fret about blog numbers:
It’s so hard with numbers and blog stats. They don’t truly measure impact, so feeling happy when they’re up and sad when they’re down is fruitless. You never know how your words will bless people. You could have a small number day, but someone might’ve been set free. You could have a large number day with no discernible impact. The best way to deal with it is to constantly lay the numbers into Jesus’ hands.”
Ummm, yeah. Conviction accepted.
So, now I have a new goal. By the end of August I need to move. Prayers appreciated.
And now I have that stupid theme-song stuck in my head….
“…scooby dooby doo here are you
you’re ready and you’re willin’
if we can count on you scooby doo
i know we’ll catch that villain…”
I wrote a post a while back about finding my “thing” in life. Click here to read. I am raising money to help cover the costs affiliated with Nick Vujicic traveling to Serbia at the end of September. I am believing that the message he will bring to the nation that gave me my daughter will be one of true hope and change. If you would like to contribute, please click here.
In April of 2010, on the same day that we boarded a plane en route to Serbia to adopt our daughter, news broke of a woman in Tennessee putting her seven-year old adopted son on a plane (all by himself) and sending him back to Russia. We got scared!
By the time we arrived in Serbia our email inboxes were filled with concern over all adoptions from that region of the world coming to a halt. We got a little more scared.
After meeting with ministry officials and facing the issues surrounding our own adoption, we stopped being scared. We got angry. Righteously angry. The Serbia officials involved with our adoption watched Sofija beat the crap out of us day after day after day. And they asked, “Are you sure you want her to be your daughter?” “Do you understand that you can’t send her back to Serbia?” Some woman in Tennessee, that I had never heard of before, who I am quite certain spent years and thousands of dollars to adopt her son, had now created a roadblock for us in our efforts to bring our daughter home. I don’t often feel contempt for someone I’ve never met. This was an exception.
In the moments when I struggled with taking Sofija away from her foster family and all that she had ever known, I struggled because I knew the taking away would be FOREVER(for more on how hard those days were click here . I knew that the moment we pointed our fingers back at ourselves and slowly spoke the words, “I’m Mama.” and “I’m Tata”, it was FOREVER. We could not ask her to identify us as her parents until we were willing to accept her as our daughter. Period.
Before we adopted Sofija, before I read dozens of books on adoption and subscribed to countless blogs on the subject, I had some basic understanding of what it meant to be adopted.
Romans 8:15 So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he ADOPTED you as his own children. Now we call him, “Father.”
Galatians 4:5 God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could ADOPT us as his very own children.
I was adopted. I have a biological mother and father, but I was adopted into God’s family. Notice that there is no mention in those verses of a time limit on that adoption. There are no contractual clauses that give God an out if He gets sick of being my father. Lord knows I’ve done PLENTY in this life to give him reason to send me back to wherever it is I came from. But he doesn’t work that way. He adopted me forever.
So, there’s this one little verse in James that adoptive families use all the time and that the rest of the body of Christ (including most preachers) would rather just skip over.
James 1:27 Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.
I really struggle with anger towards Christians who pretend like that verse doesn’t exist. We have a God-given mandate to look out for orphans. And there’s more…
In Matthew 18:5 Jesus said, “And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.” And… Matthew 25:40 And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these…. you were doing it to me!’ And a little further down the page…. Matthew 25:45 “And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these…. you were refusing to help me.’
Don’t know about you, but I read those and I go straight back to the words of James….
“Remember it is sin to know the good you ought to do, and not do it.”
Which brings me back to the lady from Tennessee who sent her son back to Russia. He was her son. She adopted him. She did not just sign a contractual agreement with the government of Russia to take care of him. She made a covenant agreement with God to adopt one of HIS children and to care for that child FOREVER… or til she dies, or Jesus comes back.
Tonight, as I was reading the news headlines, a story caught my eye.
Apparently, some judge gets it. He gets that the Tennessee lady (who now lives in California) made a covenant agreement to be a mother to “the least of these”. And now, the lady will pay child support for the boy that she worked so hard to make her own, and then sent away. Feel free to leave comments stating your opinion on the matter. 🙂
Aren’t you thankful that God always supports us? Better yet, aren’t you glad that he never sends us away?!
Aren’t you thankful for a God who is….
Psalm 68:5-6Father to the fatherless, defender of widows— this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.
As for my own little former orphan… She is going to summer school. Yesterday she came home with a note that said, “Today Sofija led THE WHOLE SCHOOL in the pledge.” I have to be honest. I had no clue that she even knew the pledge. So I asked her to say it for me… 🙂 Yw2xQ9iMJ48
Just in case you’ve forgotten, God is going to do something HUGE in Serbia this September! He’s sending Nick Vujicic (whose parents are Serbian) to share a message of hope. Here is Nick’s message to Serbia
For a little more Nick…
With four kids in our house, there is not a day that goes by without the words, “I meant NOW” coming out of my mouth. I ask them to do something and it’s almost a guarantee that one of them is going to see just how long they can wait to actually be obedient. One of our pastors once said that his father declared, “Delayed obedience is disobedience.” Right now my dear hubby and I know that the instruction God has given us is to do everything we can to help support Nick’s visit to the land that gave us our daughter.
We are right at $1000. Every cup of Starbucks that you skip will help. If you’d like to help financially, please go here to make a donation. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you in advance for getting on board this mission to make a difference in Serbia.
Kaci, Kaci, sweet and spacey, how does your garden grow?
Yeah. I know it’s cheesy. I couldn’t find another homonym for my name and, well, I do TRY to be sweet.
I haven’t forgotten how to write. I’ve just found a new creative outlet that has become all-consuming. I have a garden. Genesis 2:8 NLT Then the Lord God planted a garden…
This gardening thing has been WAY more than a gardening thing. Other than our tomato plants (which were given to us by our favorite photographer friend), I grew everything else from seeds. My dear hubby hauled a truck-load of two-year-old manure from local horse stables to the backyard and (pardon my language) spread that crap everywhere. While he was spreading crap, I scoured the town for organic seeds of all varieties. I waited for the best planting dates (as recommended in the Farmer’s Almanac, stuck seeds in the crap, and began watering daily.
In the small span of time that each seed spent in the palm of my hand, the parallel to life did not escape me. Just like seeds, we are each born as little bundles of dormant potential.
The picture above was taken approximately one month after those little bundles of potential were placed in the ground. For that entire month, I spent hours each and every day, pulling weeds and watering. Once again, the parallel to life did not escape me. Constant weeding and constant nourishment is ALWAYS required before any fruit will be produced.
As the garden began to produce fruit, I discovered something. I had planted eggplant in between tomatoes and okra. It seemed like the perfect space when I placed the seeds in the ground. At this point I’m going to dismiss the fact that I didn’t bother to read the plant heights on the back of the seed packets. Let’s just go with…. “It seemed like the perfect space.”
Anyway, on the very same day that I found these…. I noticed that my eggplants had not really grown in about a week. They still looked healthy and strong, but, in the shadows of the early blooming tomatoes, they were not growing. And, I knew that they needed to grow a bit more before they would be able to produce fruit.
Once again, I saw the parallel to my life. For months God had allowed us to feel unsettled in our church. In the same week that I transplanted my eggplants out of the shadows of the tomatoes, God transplanted us out of our church and into a new one. We still love the church where we’ve grown for the last four years, but we feel certain that our new church is where we need to be in order to produce the fruit God created us for.
The past two weeks have been consumed with harvesting and weeding. Two more interesting parallels to life. 1: The more mature the plant, the fewer weeds that grow under it. However, the weeds that do grow under a mature plant tend to be deep-rooted, hard to see, and more difficult to remove. 2: Once a plant produces fruit, it must be harvested. Otherwise it will rot on the vine.
Today my garden looks like this… It’s no secret that my own childhood contained A LOT of crap. But apparently, growing up in crap can produce quite a harvest. 😉
Isaiah 58:11 The Lord will guide you continually,
giving you water when you are dry
and restoring your strength.
You will be like a WELL-WATERED GARDEN,
like an ever-flowing spring.
Lux, Libertas 